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Irony



How much can a single person endure;
Before their breaking point is found?
Oh we are all superman, this I ensure;
Handling anything thus mentally sound,
But truthfully, how can one be so sure?

There are individuals who can truly live,
Seeing the sights and tasting blissful life;
Where there is nothing for them to forgive.
Yet others are filled with blinding strife,
Watching their lives trickle through a sieve..

So why is it that if you change one thing,
It can cause the blissful individual to fall;
And the embroiled one to stand and sing?
Is this all due to some invisible mental wall,
Or is it just sanity, with scissors upon a string?
 

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1 - 11 of 11

  • Patpowers silver member
    May 11, 2008
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    Another excellent work of poetry Rev! You have a bit of a sermon as I read this . THANKS AGAIN!!!


  • Sunduiri
    April 18, 2008
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    inspiring

    as always M'Lady your work is wonderful. I hope you come back soon with more poem for me to read.

  • luvdrkchocolate
    April 6, 2008

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    Oh. This is an interesting poem that you have written here. I read the title and was curious what you may have written about the subject. I'm not sure that irony really has anything to do with people. I think that some just are stronger willed. Lestways, that's the way that I have always seen it. I thought it that it was thought provoking though.


  • ukelova
    March 30, 2008
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    work in progress

    Hello there.

    I'm not sure I can see the irony in this poem, so perhaps all my comments should be ignored.

    This poem is ok, but the lines sometimes seem to be played like a rubber band to get the rhythm and rhyme in.

    I see that it is a work in progress, so I take it that this is an early draft? What worries me most is that it doesn't have a metaphoric focus; the images are very different from each other, almost as if the poet's intention is more important than the poetry. eg: superman, sieve, singing, scissors on a string.


    Please don't take exception to my honest comments. If you don't like them, feel free to delete them.

    Yours in poetry revision,
    BJ.



    • Rev Alimae gold member
      March 31, 2008

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      Thought provoking.

      BJ,

      Please forgive my lack of immediate response to your comment. I was confused due to what you had written. Mainly two sections.

      The first being that of: "This poem is ok, but the lines sometimes seem to be played like a rubber band to get the rhythm and rhyme in."

      With the second being that of: "What worries me most is that it doesn't have a metaphoric focus; "

      In lough of this I shall address the second statement prior to the first for I feel that this will answer the first as well as address your statement of, "I'm not sure I can see the irony in this poem.."

      I took the liberty of reading your profile page and learning of who you are. One thing I did take note of and which helped me greatly in understanding where you were coming from, was your statement of, "Poetry should have metaphoric resonance. It is best when it's aware of its line breaks and structure."

      Now, I am a firm believer in the phrase of, "To each their own." Basically that we each as individuals can and will have our own views, opinions and ideas about our day to day lives. Sadly though in this case I lament your choice to only see poetry in the light of metaphoric resonance. The reason I state this is that it narrows one's views and enjoyment of poetry in its broad and eccentric uniqueness to only see it in one light.
      Thus the reason I belive that you were unable to see the irony in my poem.

      My poem was written from a psychological point of view, with some metaphor laced through out. To be precise, this poem employs both active and dead metaphor's; all be it these are ones that are readily employed here in the United States and not ones used in Australia. Thus I am sure there is a language barrier here as well.

      Now, I am not in any way trying to say that your assessment of my poem was wrong in any way. On the contrary, it is my hope that I can may hap show you a different way of looking at poetry. Though this is purely your choice as to how you choose to view individual pieces.

      Okay, the poem itself is very ironic considering it is speaking about how you have different people from different walks of life. You have those who have everything they could possibly want and those who have to struggle for even the smallest things. Now if you take one from each of these areas of life and change one thing, it does not matter what it is, typically the one who had everything will mentally and emotionally loose it. Breaking down and in a sense going nuts. They can not mentally, emotionally, or spiritually handle the change. Yet, if you take a person who has had to fight for each small thing in their life and change one thing, they can stand up and prosper, thus getting some where. They become able to stand up and literally change their lives due to this one tiny difference. That is the irony of the piece. In no way am I saying that this holds true for each and every person, just that it is generally that which occurs.

      Are any of the metaphors supposed to go together? No. They were never intended to fit together into a metaphoric resonance, due mainly to the fact that the human mind does not employ this; at least where mental stability and emotional stability are concerned.

      I hope that this helps you to understand the poem, and if not, at least I attempted to explain.

      All in all I welcome your comments and your point of view concerning my poem. I wish you the best of luck with in your life.

      Blessings,

      Rev. Alimae


      • ukelova
        March 31, 2008

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        explanation

        Thank you very much for your explanation. It clears up my confusion.

        Best wishes,
        BJ.

  • Betweenmoods
    March 30, 2008

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    Good!

    Sometimes you cant do right for doing wrong, conscience is the bane of the righteous. great write. P


  • sunny day
    March 30, 2008

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    Rev, Talk about irony, you nailed it here perfectly with your wonderful use of metaphors. It carries a strong message and even with those scissors on a string we still shouldn't run with them. Thank you for sharing the beauty of your pen with all of us and keep that ink flowing. Kudos for you. Love and God bless, Joyce


  • poeticweaver gold member
    March 20, 2008

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    Excellent!

    I can see verse in this piece that many can relate to, as well as it was wonderfully inscribed from the soul. Thanks for sharing, and how true, one thing could send us up, or down a right or wrong road. Not sure how fair that is, but it's possible. Well Done!

    -Timothy


  • XxTattered WingsxX
    March 18, 2008

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    First, I would love to comment on the rhyme scheme. It is very unique. Not many writers choose to write ababa. That, I must commend you on. Very well done. It adds greatly to your poem, as does your word choice. I love the very last line. It ends a great poem perfectly. Well done. A title is an author's decision. It's not one that I would have personally used, but then again, it is not my work of art. The first and last lines are brilliant though. I look forward to reading more of your work.

  • Patpowers silver member
    March 10, 2008

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    Interesting way with this work Rev! Good questions posed to the reader. I thought this was intelligently written. GOOD WORK!!

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