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Winter (Etheree)

It's
snowing
wind blowing
Blanket of white
covers all in sight
There is nary a sound
There's no movement to be seen
in this winter scene so serene
The dead of winter, truly it does be
but not sure am I that it pleases me

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • Violinstrings silver member
    January 11
    Edit | Reply
    i did not applaud because of lack of points

  • Violinstrings silver member
    January 11
    Edit | Reply

    this is fine

    nearly a sound
    blanket of white(whte)
    still great just fix spellling


  • Rhythm Child
    December 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    thankyou for entering. I hope you enjoy the contest and have fun.

    take care
    message me for anything

    Rhythm Child


  • Jesann gold member
    December 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really like this poem, "...not sure am I that pleases me" either..
    lucky it's summer here !!
    Well done.


  • Cyber Artist Moderators member
    July 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    well it got me feeling cold, yes snow is a pretty picture but not always as nice in reality...
    Cyber Artist


  • B Chandler
    July 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    the rhythmn on it was like a cheeful bounce lol


  • sheltered
    March 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I'm pretty certain it doesn't please me.... Winter that is. I wonder if you went outside the restrictions of form more if your writing would improve? Not sure i've ever seen you do anything other? Nicely done etheree B.B.


  • Tam
    March 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for sharing your time and talent with us!
    I’m delighted Tim’s artwork inspired your Muse to pen this wonderful entry into our contest...
    Blessings! Tammy


  • Somnium13
    March 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Nice entry. I like the structure, the shortening of the lines creates a 'swowballing' effect in the flow, which mirrors the subject nicely.

    The word order is a little strange in the last two lines. I don't know if that is deliberate? But it makes reading it a little more difficult. If you did want to change them I would suggest, "it truly does be"
    and "but I'm sure that it pleases me", which keeps the rhyme nicely intact. But like I said maybe the word order was intentional?

1 - 9 of 9