A clock doesn't show the time
it is a poetic metaphor
and it artistically symbolises
a lover's life.
The hours and the minute's
hand meet rarely,
The only thing that meets both
is a second hand, once in a minute,
which is like a hope, in each other,
as they remember themselves
and look at the open doors
if the other came close.
Author notes
Read it thoroughly and you will understand what I tired to say...
Second Option
A contest entry
- Gravity: Love Poems Of The Saddest Kind by Fey Absinthe.
500 points, ended March 11, 2008, 15 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
-
9pts...
Thank you for this great contribution to The Poetic Bandits reading list, and congratulations on the bronze trophy
~Lilac
-
Great metaphor you used in these lines - Just because we love one another does not mean we have to do everything together, and cannot do our own thing. We are after all individuals and each have our own likes and dislikes. Think time together is then that much better.
-
Amazing write very thought provoking. Wonderful imagery I so enjoyed reading. Congrats on the Bronze well deserved
-
This is an interesting poem... I really liked the way you explained what you were going to do in the first stanza, and then proceded to continue the metaphor throughout... wonderfully done - congratulations on the bronze - very well deserved!
Keep writing
Polly
-
I liked the use of the clock. you made it interesting
it was short but said so much in a timeless situation
-
Wow. I never saw a metaphoric connection with time and one's love. That was very, very good.
-
This brings to mind the saying, "Even a broken clock is correct twice a day." I might be misunderstanding you, but it appears to me that this speaks of a pair that have moved so far apart, that only occasionally do they find their common ground again. The hope remains, but even that grows dim. I enjoyed the metaphor you used.
-
-
Thanks for your words...you heard most what the wite said, but the parted pair doesn't meet...but it is a hope which meets to both the lovers that the person who rang the doorbell is none other but...
-
-
This is an interesting poem. It holds many meanings. Congrats on your bronze trophy. Thank you for sharing your poem with me.
-
I love it.
You, and a few others, WERE THE ONLY ONES TO ACTUALLY GET WHAT I WAS ASKING FOR!!!!!
Thank you!!! ^-^
-
This is so sad but true in many cases. We truly become one in body, soul, and spirit very rarely after the initial burst of first love. Why does this have to be? I guess it is the hope and faith that our love is real that keeps us together.
I liked this very much. I think perhaps lines 5 and 6 would be better grammatically if they read " The hour and the minute hands meet rarely."
Thank you for a wonderful read.
Love and hugs *hugs* - joanne
-
Nice
A pleasure to read
Thank you for sharing
-
This is a good write, well expressed but it's cliche, clocks are an overused metaphor.The descriptive imagery could have been a bit better-more of feeling, but overall this was still a good write, good luck
-
You use the clock and a little film was playng in my head
Adding your comment:
1 - 14 of 14
