Staring through partly cloudy skies
I drift into a crisp snowbank
Falling back into silent fate
The snow soaks my blue denim jeans.
This winter has been forever eternal
Yet I still steal a sweet smile
When a snowflake gracefully pirouettes
Across my frostbitten cheek.
Soon my sweet june will arrive
Only fashionably late but on time
I'll slip you a new copper penny
To bring summer's safe arrival.
A contest entry
- Underappreciated Poetry by cre8tiv-writer.
750 points, ended September 23, 2008, 15 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Inspire Me by TheAshtrayGirl.
1000 points, ended November 1, 2008, 18 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Nature and the Seasons by Vertigo-.
1400 points, ended January 10, 18 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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Thank you for entering!
Okay so, I feel you were doing quite well untill I read
"The snow soaks my blue denim jeans."
..and then I felt like I was reading a Mr. Men book to my little girl.
Thank you for entering. -
very beautiful
awesome write
I really like it
great job
thanks for entering
<33 meme -
"When a snowflake gracefully pirouettes
Across my frostbitten cheek."
So beautifully described, wow, this was just .. remarkably original - you had soem wonderful other imagery in here also, this poem really came alive!
thanks for entering
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Thank you
Thank you for entering my contest! I certainly can't wait for June. Ah, warm weather.
Good luck in the contest!
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beautiful work here. very well written and excellent job!!
i really loved reading this
thanks for entering! and best of luck in the contest!!
Your Co-Judge,
-Lemon Bee-
xx -
I really loved the use of the word "pirouettes". Actually I loved that fragment "a snowflake gracefully pirouettes". It really made me see gently swirling flakes coming down.
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I liked the last few lines the most. They made me smile. Excellent write and good luck in my contest.
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This is very beautiful indeed the imagery is lovely...
Thank you for entering and good luck -
I like this a lot. You've got a nice variety of imagery, personification and light alliteration. I like that. Words like
"pirouettes"
"eternal"
and
"fashionably"
Bring the scene alive and make it more real. I also like the title; I thought that was creative.
Thanks for sharing and entering in the contest. :-)
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Aww this is so beautiful, such a pretty poem.
I like the length of the piece. It's short, but you put so much into it. Filled with lovely imagery.
I love the lines :
When a snowflake gracefully pirouettes
Across my frostbitten cheek.
Simply Beautiful.
ElectricBloom -
Beautiful winter poem! It's supposed to snow here soon. I love your imagery! Thanks for entering and GOOD LUCK in my contest!
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Beautiful imagery!
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Sweetly serene and quietly mesmerizing. Great job!!
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a snowflake gracefully pirouettes
that's such a great line. so filled with imagery. what's with your obsession with june? haha. i've noticed in a lot of your poems you mention your sweet june.. hm. interesting. this is really good though, keep it up.
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My sweet june, was originally a piece I wrote about seasonal depression, so everytime I use it, it usually relates to the seasonal depression I sometimes feel during the winter, I guess its just a reference to summer?
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