removed
Author notes
Thank you tanzanite for helping me to edit this!
Type 2- Sexual Love
A contest entry
- The Erotic Challenge Season 6 by Master Ktulu.
450 points, ended March 27, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Erotic Pleasures by Jonathan Wikkins.
525 points, ended June 1, 2008, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Types Of Love(NEED TYPE 1 BEFORE JUDGING) by Blooming Poet.
300 points, ended March 31, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - perverts only! by nobodys-girl.
700 points, ended June 3, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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this is kewl
hmmm well i find this amazing... i wanted to take a homeless man home with me once but my boyfriend said NO!
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hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm very interesting write here...
is this a fantasy or reality?
it appears to be a combination of both....
thanks for entering my contest, and good luck!
mike, aka jonathan wikkins -
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yes it is both. Thank you for your comment.
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a much better view this time around bro! I, too, like the storyline and feel that the corrections that you have made really help with the telling of it.
Poignant, telling and very human. Three bunnies for you~!
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Ummm thanks, but I am a girl! Thank
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Well, this was a nice story and a good progression. I like the innuendo. There are a few spelling issues, such as forgeting that should be forgetting, orgasim that should be orgasm, Trumpt that should be Trump etc. Please make sure to fix those. Also, please look at your punctuation again. I liked the premise and I think, after some editing, this will be a good offering. As a previous reader said, work on the presentation and the grammar issues and you will have a really good piece that reflects the content.
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When you have a minute could you reread this. I am not worried about the contest I am just trying to perfect it. I copy and pasted it put it on word and worked on it. Let me know if it reads better. Thanks.
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I am working on it...
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this is a surprise!
But a nice one! it's different for you , you surely hit with the steamy, if it's meant to be funny, people that get will, and some won't, still a good story , and a interesting way to convey a message.
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This was okay. The odd lack of punctuation threw me off as well as the inconsistent spacing and form. There are several typos you might wanna look at, or if they're not typos, they make me double take at the word instead of allowing me to continue to flow with it. Some of the phrases are cliché or maybe even a little awkward like at line 57 or 82.
It's very good content-wise, it's merely the presentation that removes from the power I can/could read in the piece.
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this is fine for a day or a week.
They are not a child or puppy dog. They bite, slap hit cut hurt , often have no feelings and don't care. the old habbits are home to them, and ugly is what happens if you try and change them..SORRY....mac
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LOL The girl already knew the guy. Its just a story... -
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AND
I have close friends that are currently homeless don't judge a book by its cover.
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