Cold like the fell of a sting
tread through the newest now
the gravest tommorow
this is where I sit and spin my life away.
taken for granted the moment you step in
made obsolete by motion that tangles
and strips you of all semblance of strength
at least until you are held out of reach
then they want you
then they feel the need a taste.
just one more taste, just a little...
just a little more sweat, a piece.
Author notes
just of the top of my head, not that good. I haven't written in almost a year so I'm rusty,
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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like the title ... the feel of the poem is to be worn thin & that is especially true at 4:16. can relate to the tedious and oppressive nature of this write ... always "... just one more taste..." .
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Ya I see a pole dancer or a stripper too. I like it. Nice job!
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I keep reading this over and getting a new interpretation each time. I am going to take a gamble and say that its about, or at least using the metaphor of, a stripper. Am I right? Or is it about a regular person who feels taken for granted?
You are good at weaving words. My favorite parts were
Cold like the fell of a sting
and
taken for granted the moment you step in
made obsolete by motion that tangles
It was a pleasure reading your poetry. Welcome to AP!
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Nope, not a stripper. Just a person who tries to do what they can but get's eaten alive.
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Forgive me then for reading into it what isnt there. LOL I actually got the person feeling unappreciated at first interpretation but then after reading it again and again, i guess i started looking for key words and...
Anyways, its bitter and well weaved.
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