Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

I Want To Soar With Balance

There is no secret
except one
I want balanced,
normality.

Never have I had normal
living with an addict.
Nineteen years of never knowing
security in any matter of life.

Now...


I want to feel safe
with the man i cherish beyond
these words.
I want to be centered, within us.

Although in private
I want my heart to soar,

 among feelings of adoration
to fly free, in abandonment

To lose myself in his eyes
no wants, but needs
Only then, the secrets wanted,

 my thrist!


He and only his love

 holds the keys to
 open this woman's heart.

 

 

Unlocking the cage

he tenders 

 my wings to fly free.


Author notes

5. "You were only waiting for this moment to be free." -- "Blackbird" by The Beatles.

My future, my life,my love, my passions

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 6 of 6
  • OhNoChastity
    October 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This poem is great. I definitely love the take on the prompt. I never even considered it to be parallel with love, but I can see the relation well from the picture your wrote for me. I think the metaphors are strong, and I love the "moment to be free" secluded after the waiting. You grabbed all parts of the prompt and showed it.

    My favourite line is "I want to be centered within us." More often than not, being centered implies security within oneself. The application of "us" shows the insecurity, the rocking boat, of the relationship, the want, and with a simple sentence manages to set the lovers apart and together.

    This is a very well written emotional poem, and I cherish it. You show that the narrator is unhappy, sad, at a loss, wanting --needing more, yet you capture the love that is also in her. Because of the love that you manage to show profoundly through your words, the poem is strengthened and the pain is stronger.

    As far as suggestions, this poem is great as it is, but I feel as though it might be strengthened with perhaps more of the reasoning as to why she's unhappy or if the reason is unknown, the confusion.

    Thank you for this great read and please, continue writing!

    -Jen


  • wvtwinklestar gold member
    September 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Keys

    This poem had sadness..and love, needs for happiness
    I like your expression of Unlocking the cage he tenders my wings to fly free...soar above the stars!
    Conni~


  • darell
    July 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Wow!

    what and excellent take on the prompt.
    I happened to have selected the same prompt
    as you. I felt your emotions swelling over
    in this exquisitely written piece. you made
    me an ally and friend. I would love to meet
    someone like you and start a relationship.
    The compassion in your heart burst through
    so powerfully. Great job


  • Little Hala Treeez
    July 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful

    I think that this is a truely beautiful piece. The love you have for him shines bright with this poem. I was there, don't lose it.


  • Xianaria gold member
    July 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Aww Baby...

    I saw this contest earlier, saw the Blackbird quote & just knew you had your name on it!!!

    Unlocking the cage
    he tenders
    my wings to fly free.

    You are free, my love! This is a beautiful piece, I'm glad you're able to share this once more.

    I love you~
    Tim


  • storiesuntold gold member
    May 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    Yes in deed so many live within the nightnmare of those who are addicted and once free and have the very love they so desire and the feeling of safety life truly begins from this point on

1 - 6 of 6