I want to suck the salt from your mouth
and inhale the rust
buried in your teeth
because you bleed more than the moon
Life is another medicated misery to you
and you jam placebos into your eyes
finding numbness from the dark
and salvation from the light.
Yet ghosts still hang in the back
of your lobotomized skull
I want to shove the dust and sand into your wounds
yet you hurt just from living
and now maggots scrape away
flesh from tender joints
Raw is the only way to feel
A contest entry
- Peel Away The Band-Aid by Dalaney.
1000 points, ended March 8, 2008, 18 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre-write Panorama by B Chandler.
1000 points, ended May 7, 2008, 13 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
I've read this poem over && over again...&& the visuals are strong. They give a mental image of suffering (obviously haha)
But I can't understand the main point... -
It's light enough and 'dark' enough to hold my attention. But at the same time the intriguing usage of metaphors really stands out well
-
very dark poem, I liked it a lot



