He never really asked for much,
Just a simple family life;
He only wanted what was best,
For his children and his wife.
He knew the day was coming,
On this he could depend,
He was prepared to meet his Father,
When his life on earth would end,
He asked the Father for a little time,
To prepare the way for them;
Trying hard to get things done,
Even though his days were dim.
He suffered in silence,
Never giving in to pain,
He didn’t want to show it,
In this there was no gain.
Rachel sweetly caressed him
And kissed his furrowed brow,
As she whispered to him softly,
“It’s okay love, you can go home now.
I know that you are suffering
And it’s time that you should go,
I want to say I love you
And I will miss you so.”
He drifted oh so quietly
In this life he’ll no more roam
No strife, no pain no sorrow
His Father took him home.
A contest entry
- March New Members contest by AP Greeters.
600 points, ended April 8, 2008, 64 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
Welcome to allpoetry and thanks for entering!
I don't understand the relationship you had, but I can certainly see the love you had for him and that you cared for him deeply. The structure excellent, the rhyme perfect and the imagery was there too
Thank you for entering and good luck in the contest
I hope you enjoy allpoetry
Faerie
Site Greeter -
Gosh - this is such a tender sad but loving beautiful poem. The rhyming is great and the feel of the poem is profound.
I encourage you to keep writing to read and comment.
God Bless
Tammy
Site Greeter
-
Welcome to AllPoetry
From this poem I don't understand what your relationship with him is, but it is inspirational nonetheless. A reminder that sometimes letting go of loved ones is the best we can do for them. On another note, commas at the end of every line distract the reader a lot... and you have missed commas where some were due, like in the line: "No strife, no pain no sorrow". Good luck in the contest
~Diana -
Welcome to AllPoetry
Beautifully sad; this reaches deep within and holds the heart closely as we read.
♥
Thank you for your entry
Best of luck
Stay safe
~Manda
-
This is a beautiful poem, this made me cry so much! Your faith and his really shines through. This reminds cancer sufferers and their loved ones that God has a plan for everything.
Once again, amazing
Amber Shining
-
Welcome to Allpoetry
Oh Oh my goodness, this brought tears to my eyes, especially after that last line.
A wonderful poem with excellent rhyme and flow.
Thanks so much for your entry
Gaylene
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
