Younger, and more nieve than ever
I was reaching for something in my heart.
Leaving a gapping hole in my thoughts, my soul.
All I wanted was that comfort.
He came along, and held me through it all.
With my lips on his, he was my saviour.
He held me up high to the world.
I made everyone stare.
He was my star, and all I wanted was
his heart. Instead I got his world in return.
A contest entry
- March New Members contest by AP Greeters.
600 points, ended April 8, 2008, 64 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Be my critics?
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Welcome to allpoetry and thanks for entering!
This is very sweet. I love that you are able to show so clearly how this person has made you feel. It's very effective and an honour to their memory.
Thank you for entering and good luck in the contest
I hope you enjoy allpoetry
Faerie
Site Greeter -
Thank you for your entry and welcome to allpoetry
Your love is apparent. Nice flow and structure. Thanks for sharing.
I encourage you to keep writing to read and comment.
God Bless
Tammy
Site Greeter -
Welcome to AllPoetry
This sounds like a lot of intimacy. Too bad in some relationships, everything means more to one person than the other. This is personal and expressive, especially the last stanza. I'm not sure what the "in return" is there for, though. Good luck in the contest
~Diana -
Welcome to AllPoetry
Love is a powerful emotion that bubbles within, you have penned this well
♥
Thank you for your entry
Best of luck
Stay safe
~Manda
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Welcome to Allpoetry
A very beautiful write about someone you love very deeply.
Thanks so much for your entry
Gaylene
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