No longer a shame-faced worm
No longer the weeping willow
No longer a whispered side note ...
Proudly submissive, I will embrace the darkness that I crave.
No longer crippled,
no longer impotent,
no longer silent.
Confident in my beauty, I shall light the candles
of soft obeisance to entice others to claim my freedom.
And so …
I will accept His unwritten code and law,
I will accept each deserved lash of His will,
I will beg for more, because I am whole under His whip.
I will kneel, without pride, with no thought of gain.
I will be a silent receptacle, struggling to breathe
I will beg for His deliverance, His gift of life.
Because …
Pain consented to is a shared path;
pain knowingly taken, a gift of trust;
pain embraced is a safe place.
Only in giving this body for His use, do we reach out and find that place.
Pain in well-placed lashes,
pain in tightened crocodile clips,
pain in fast drying, shrinking rope.
Remember …
I am not deranged,
I am not hell bent on my own destruction,
I do not need your pity.
I submit, therefore I am.
Author notes
Wow, this was harder than I thought it would be. I took a piece by one of the people I appreciate and admire in real life as well as on AP. This man is an icon of strength and I believe that He is worthy of the title of Master. I added way more punctuation, perhaps more than I should have ...
I thought that I could speak in the voice of the submissive that I am, in answer to one of His most hard hitting pieces on here, in my opinion.
Here is the link to the indomitable Tattboy ...
http://allpoetry.com/poem/2040165#
I hope He enjoys it and sees this little tribute as the work of love that I intended it to be. Tattboyspet, cherish this man. He is one of a few very special dominants out there.
I did not use formal BDSM grammar as I really wanted to bring out the strength of commitment and the urgency and pride in her declaration of service.
In a list
A contest entry
- The Erotic Challenge (FINAL ROUND) Season 5 by Master Ktulu.
1750 points, ended March 11, 2008, 6 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
-
This poem...
was one of the first that I found on my journey to learning how to express the emotions being a sub invokes in me. My favorite part being:
"I will accept His unwritten code and law,
I will accept each deserved lash of His will,
I will beg for more, because I am whole under His whip.
I will kneel, without pride, with no thought of gain.
I will be a silent receptacle, struggling to breathe
I will beg for His deliverance, His gift of life."
This was something I copied to my Master in trying to express how I felt. Thank you so very much!
-
*smiles* O my friend.. this truly deserves that gold.. very special and yes a great tribute to our very special friend.
Naids
-
Congratulations on the Gold and on winning the erotic challenge. I am so happy for you, a well deserved win.
Bravo
-
Well done fellow captain, saving a masterpiece for last was a brilliant strategy!
I have enjoyed the challenge this year but am not yet sure if I'll do another so I shall make especially sure to congratulate one and all for a great job done.
-
Holy Mother of Pearl Jam!!
Beautiful piece You have penned and I was captivated from beginning to end and wanted more
I could feel the connection through Your words~
and see how Tattboy Inspired~
Bravo on a job well done
Loved this!
The last line had me in tears
Keep that quill dancing~~
Thank You for sharing Your Heart and Spirit~
Many blessings to You in the Challenge Sweet Soul
Best wishes too
and much love~ Desire~*~
-
-
Oh wow, thank you Desire. I am glad it touched you so much. I did not want you in tears ... damn. The quill is dancing, even if it is one dimensional right now .. sigh. I struggle to write anything but erotic work right now, but that too will change. It was a privilege to share so much of myself though, because this is about me. Glad you appreciated is as much.
-
-
and I am Honored to have inhaled Your energy
Woooo Hooo look at that quill go
Best wishes
-
-
-
Why do they only allow THREE applauses?
This is a perfect poem and it looks like you are heading for a perfect score. It really does put across so much of the submissive side of things. It is a wonderful counterpoint to My poem and I am honoured that you felt that that was the poem you wanted to use as the basis of your challenge piece.
Also thanks for the wonderful comments about Me
I will TRY and not let them go to My head.
Well done once again,
your friend,
Tattboy
-
-
Oh my darling friend, it was such a pleasure to do this for you. You have always inspired me and to see this comment, warms my heart. I love you so much. Please do let the things I said go to your head ... you deserved every compliment I gave you. Thank you for being the inspiration for me in this challenge. Hugs, hugs and lotsa kisses.
-
-
spelling and grammar = 20
presentation = 20
originality = 20
'grab me' effect = 20
overall = 20
TOTAL = 100
B, thank you - this is truly amazing! It not only complements Tattboy's write but it enhances it and shows from the other side as well. I checked out his poem and you have taken it and made it your own yet subtly stuck to his form
excellent job - well done!!! -
-
Always a pleasure hun. Your Master is an inspiration and it was wonderful to work with such fantastic material. Cherish Him and serve Him well. He is fantastic and He has chosen one that complements and completes Him. Hugs, hugs and lotsa kisses.
-
-
I definately love the idea but I'm afraid you should think once more about the form. Some parts are alright, for example, "Pain consented to is a shared path;
pain knowingly taken, a gift of trust;
pain embraced is a safe place", but some other parts really need some improvement. -
Tanz having worked with you I know you are an awesome writer and an even more awesome person. This piece is so real, natural and thus powerful that it could only be written by one who knows the life.
-
Holy damn,... I seen three entries and read and feel you all are doing outstanding work. I am very pleased with what I am seeing...now the scores
spelling and grammar=20
originality=20
how well you handled the challenge=20
presentation=20
overall=20
total=100
Congrats on your score and best wishes to you.
Passions
-
it is so hard to pick out which part i like the most as it all was well written and so true, it shows who you are and what could be better than a thought out piece showing yourself?
spelling and grammar=20
how well you handled the challenge=20
presentation=20
originality=20
overall=20
total=100 -
-
Thank you Shimmer ... you know what I almost picked a piece by you ... had to tell you that. Thanks for being so dedicated to this challenge and for giving so much of yourself to each comment. You are appreciated.
-
-
This is one of the best pieces I have ever seen you write Tanz! Powerful, evocative and yet such a wonderful gift to not only the Master but also to yourself! taking no prisoners and no excuses, you have truly brought forth the respect, knowledge and willingness of a sub in this poem... I am deeply impressed and my respect is boundless. Congratulations and many more than just three bunnies for you!
-
-
Thank you Sylvyr. I am blown away by the overwhelming comment and all the bunnies. Thank you. If it were not for people like Tattboy and my own Master and husband, I would never have been able to write this.
-
-
it shows in your work the devotion and trust that you have between you and Your Husband/Master. This trust shows in powerful writing that you have been giving us.
This beautiful lifestyle is one that is so strongly controversial that to live it takes one very strong person, especially if one is a submissive. To trust someone that strongly is very alien to me... even if I do write about it. The power in this poem just jumped up and slapped me in the face when I read it. The pride, love, trust and devotion between you and your Master/Husband is so beautiful..
I am proud to know you and hope that we can become good friends over time.
-
-
-
I think this is very well indeed. Overall I believe you have done more than just a tribute to Tattboy. One can feel the strength of commitment and urgency in your words. Pride is definately shown through your work here as well.
Phenominal job with this!
spelling/grammar - 20
presentation - 20
originality - 20
how well you handled challenge - 20
overall - 20
_____________________________
Total -100
**Master Ktulu** -
-
Thank you Ktulu. I love taking part in these challenges but this one was hard, since there are so many writers to look at, but eventually I found the one I thought deserved some more attention to a piece he wrote a while ago. This was a great final round.
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 21 of 21
