I wandered under crawling clouds;
a bridle path which knew no bounds,
past floating fields where in the midst;
a horse stood silent, drinking mist.
Author notes
Inspired by william wordsworth, and in particular, a violet by a mossy stone....
A contest entry
- Poems For The Poet by raspberry.
1890 points, ended May 3, 2008, 14 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Short Poems' Wanted!! by SignifyingNothing.
450 points, ended October 19, 2008, 123 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
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Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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Quit a beautiful rhyming poem. The rhyme is good and not forced, and the images are great. This really paints a picture in the mind's eye. Congratulations on the trophy, it was well-deserved. I really enjoyed reading this- definitely one of the better poems I've recieved in this contest. Thank you for entering and letting me read it!
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Love it. The final line is a real clincher. A perfect winner for me. Good Luck
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It was full of imagery for so few lines, and yes I also wouuld have liked more,
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Beautiful
I know it's short but it's so beautiful, it reminds me of growing up in the heart of the Somerset countryside, misty mornings which burnt off with the heat of the sun.
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Beautiful.. wish i could read more..
anyways.. good work.
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I can see the horse standing on the bridle path, snorting air and it seemingly turning into mist - wonderful image.
Superbly written.
Von
Oldpoetry Team
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lovely images here alex good stuff mate
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What a beautiful little poem you have here. Painted a picture right before my eyes. Good luck in the contest.
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Thanks for your entry. A nature poem indeed assuming that you actually meant a bridle path and not a bridal path. The image of a bride in the middle of the Lake District does not seem to chime with the source, But then neither do all of Wordsworth poems inpsired by Lucy and mostly written in Germany.
I assume this is the poem to which you refer in the notes to your poem.
http://oldpoetry.com/opoem/16625-William-Wordsworth-Lucy-
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Concise, yet so very beautiful!Very well written and good luck in the contest
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Hmmm... you don't usually appreciate rhyme unless it's done properly ... guess that's the ticket.
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Eh?
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I mean excellent rhyme!!!
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wow this is a great tribute to a great poet
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Wow!!! This was absolutely beautiful. It flows so softl;y and the imagery paints a wonderful picture. This really desertves Gold. What a lovely poem!!!!! You take care, Sandy
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I think indulgent drawn together concepts and tenuously wrought images go together well.
Hey, Kurt Cobain was cool. -
Lovely feel to this. I love the image of the 'crawling clouds' and 'floating fields'. And great last line!
Well done!
best wishes in your contest.
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MMMMMMMM k...... Uh huh,... Well. Uh. It captures the essence of a moment? And is a greeeaat horsey story with sooooooooo much depth.
until exhumed,
Grimoire -
niceee short so well penned great job on this one
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Very Fine Indeed
Drinking mist......I liked that.
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This is very good... I like it xxxxxxxxx
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Thank you.
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