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After the rain...

I wandered under crawling clouds;
a bridle path which knew no bounds,
past floating fields where in the midst;
a horse stood silent, drinking mist.

Author notes

Inspired by william wordsworth, and in particular, a violet by a mossy stone....

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? • Line numbers
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Comments

1 - 21 of 21

  • passim silver member
    April 12

    Edit | Reply
    Love it. The final line is a real clincher. A perfect winner for me. Good Luck

  • ronnica
    March 28
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    It was full of imagery for so few lines, and yes I also wouuld have liked more,

  • macplodski
    March 19

    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful

    I know it's short but it's so beautiful, it reminds me of growing up in the heart of the Somerset countryside, misty mornings which burnt off with the heat of the sun.


  • raspberry Greeters member
    March 17
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    Beautiful.. wish i could read more.. anyways.. good work.

  • rufina caraid silver member
    March 11

    Edit | Reply
    I can see the horse standing on the bridle path, snorting air and it seemingly turning into mist - wonderful image.
    Superbly written.
    Von
    Oldpoetry Team


  • Uniquely-Scarred gold member
    March 11
    Edit | Reply
    lovely images here alex good stuff mate


  • jadedsnapdragon gold member
    March 9

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    What a beautiful little poem you have here. Painted a picture right before my eyes. Good luck in the contest.


  • I-Like-Rhymes gold member
    March 8

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    Thanks for your entry. A nature poem indeed assuming that you actually meant a bridle path and not a bridal path. The image of a bride in the middle of the Lake District does not seem to chime with the source, But then neither do all of Wordsworth poems inpsired by Lucy and mostly written in Germany.
    I assume this is the poem to which you refer in the notes to your poem.
    http://oldpoetry.com/opoem/16625-William-Wordsworth-Lucy-


  • wakingdevil
    March 8

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    Concise, yet so very beautiful!Very well written and good luck in the contest


  • sheltered
    March 7
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    Hmmm... you don't usually appreciate rhyme unless it's done properly ... guess that's the ticket.

  • maralisa gold member
    March 7
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    wow this is a great tribute to a great poet


  • Sandygram silver member
    March 7

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    Wow!!! This was absolutely beautiful. It flows so softl;y and the imagery paints a wonderful picture. This really desertves Gold. What a lovely poem!!!!! You take care, Sandy


  • neurosine gold member
    March 7

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    I think indulgent drawn together concepts and tenuously wrought images go together well.
    Hey, Kurt Cobain was cool.

  • aboomer silver member
    March 7

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    Lovely feel to this. I love the image of the 'crawling clouds' and 'floating fields'. And great last line!
    Well done!
    best wishes in your contest.


  • Grimoire
    March 7

    Edit | Reply
    MMMMMMMM k...... Uh huh,... Well. Uh. It captures the essence of a moment? And is a greeeaat horsey story with sooooooooo much depth.

    until exhumed,
    Grimoire

  • Poetry-and-rhyme
    March 7
    Edit | Reply
    niceee short so well penned great job on this one
  • Macsword
    March 7
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    Very Fine Indeed

    Drinking mist......I liked that.


  • sanity silver member
    March 7
    Edit | Reply
    This is very good... I like it xxxxxxxxx
1 - 21 of 21