When you can't sleep at night,
When you think about the ones you love,
When you can't wait untill the morning
To run down the street shouting for
life.
When you get another chance,
When the road gets unblocked,
When you realise life gives you
many opportunities,
When you see a child laughing
at the silly faces you make.
When you make it to the finish line.
Every little thing makes us happy
I can go on, and on and we all have
smiles in our faces, knowing that just
the fact of awarding someone makes us feel
happy.Of lending a hand to our neighbors,
or strangers makes us happy.
A contest entry
- Happiness by Lucille.
300 points, ended March 17, 2008, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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hmm very basic and dry... in no way am i saying its a bad poem because it is a good poem. I am just suggesting editing it and add some more colorful words and rewording things to perk the readers intrest. I am not trying to be cruel - it is a lovely poem and I can see your view
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Yeah it is basic and dry, but when i wrote it was just coming out that way. I understand that it needs a spark to call the readers attention but i like it like that and it seems to me that it's natural and thank you for your review and your comment.
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no problem...yeah basic, dry poems are good though.. they break up everything else. for me and my contest its hard to judge the "best" because I am not looking for someone wiht the most creativity or longest poem, so even though there are poems with "fancier" words or "suavish" flow I still enjoy simple and basic works. it really brings a reader back to reality at times. Thanks for entering
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