You asked me what I
-W A N T E D-
I said a pack of
...r.a.z.o.r.b.l.a.d.e.s...
You looked back and grinned/
asked if it was time to play.
When you returned
with my
-R E Q U E S T-
I undressed and filled the tub.
I relaxed into the water
>and reached out<
to where you stood.
You handed ME a razorblade/
and I set to work
.(for you).
You Said
{Oh Baby, so much blood}
I Answered
{Anything for you}
Then you asked to join me/
I let YOU cut me too...
You {said} the marks were b_eautifu_l
and ToGeTHeR we watched
~the blood~
D.
R.
I.
P.
&DANCE- -
in the
\\water//
we XcutX away my skin
Anything to make YOU smile.
[[PAIN]]
Anything to keep ME yours.
Author notes
scream.n2.nite
A contest entry
- My Hands Feel Like They're Rusting [A.w.a.y.] ♥ by SarahEatsAirplane.
900 points, ended April 30, 2008, 37 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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oh my god, that is exellent!!!I love the way you used the other keys on the key board to make it look interesting. that was just brilliant!!!!!!!
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a previous commenter said she enjoyed "how it was sort of demented"
which this clearly is not..
this is really demented
like a lot.. its like a great Takashi Miike film
i love it
its a great read and not for reasons limited to the words..
its really cool..
i could never do something like this..
i'm all kinds of impressed by it
its sick
maybe really sick
and its certainly Fucking Awesome!
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haha, thanks man. Ya know I thought it was pretty sick myself. I'm very glad you enjoyed the write. It was actually the first time to write with that style so I was impressed...
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oh wow. very graphic but i still loved it....
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this is pretty cool. i like how it was sort of dememnted, but still fit the essence of dirty pretty.
great job!. -
Well, this was real graphic. Lol. I think you did a good job of painting the picture of pain, or and certainly instilling the pain that love may cause. I enjoyed the whole cause and effect aspect, and the underlying didatic nature of the poem.
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Wicked!
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