Suicidal thought's cloud my mind
Like a dust storm in an open field
Exhaustion distempers my reasoning
Like a mother with five children
Confusion disrupt's my heart
Like loud noises with a sleeping child
Hopelessness tears at my being
Like a wind mill in a hurricane
Lack of ambition fuels my exhaustion
Like that of a student during an exam
Irritation bites my senses
Like that of a freezing cold shower
Suicidal thought's brew in my mind
Like a volcano about to erupt
While the urge to carry through,
Is entwined with exhaustion.
I can do nothing but lay,
Like a crabit old woman.
I can do nothing but struggle,
And cling to life with unsteady hands.
A contest entry
- Trauma Kids by Danneh.
575 points, ended May 3, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Let me see your HEART. by fallinxalone.
530 points, ended May 25, 2008, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites by leander.
730 points, ended November 30, 2008, 147 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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You have written something very dark and emotional here, but you managed to express yourself very clearly.
thank you for entering the contest!
Leander -
This is very good. I can see it is a harsh feeling of pain in this poem. However, I was looking for a different way to express that..I said try to stray away from suicide poems. But thank you for entering!
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Oh so powerful again, how you crawl inside everyday hunnie, just to breathe and survive...
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Wow may I say what a brillently outstanding piece you have written, your words are so unquiue " Suicidal thoughts brew in my mind like a volcano about to erupt" I love that part I can realate to what you are going though but your choice of words are fantasiclly talented. All of your poem stands out from the rest.
oH and the last bit "I can do nothing but stuggle and cling to life with unstedy hands" again those choice of words are filled with such emotion and a sad powerful energy, my friend thanks for sharing and take carex
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life is clinging to you and not vice versa. there is a lot of reasons for living, and you will find a way to focus your energy towards something of a worthwhile endeavour. Extreme sports, drugs, sex slaves, murder... there are lots of ways to feel alive even if you are really dead on the inside.
until immolation,
Grimoire
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