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Pieces of My Heart, Slivers of My Soul Woven In

I falter as I ponder the words that are falling,
On this page, mingled with the residue of my tears.
My hand shakes as I realize that these pieces of my heart,
Should have slivers of my soul woven in.

Even though I am baring my heart,
It isn't, and will never be enough.
People say that great love is the scent of forgiveness,
When found on the heart of the one that you need.

If great love is a river,
Our love is the wind that moves that river along.
If great love is forgiveness,
Or love is the promise that forgiveness will never be needed.

I know that these words will change nothing,
I know that our love can't grow stronger with time.
Our souls made one, are a mighty tornado.
Our hearts are the eye, and they will never get broken.

I see that your tears fall down from your eyes,
A river of feelings,
Replacing the words that don't need to be said.
You have become my soul.

Author notes

YAY! I LIKE PUMPERNICKEL. this poem.. is about great love. as you can probably see.

Option numero 5! XD

A contest entry

Just tell me what you think.

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 27 of 27

  • With Broken Wings
    May 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    aww iloveitt!! jeje. its wonderful, the wording is amazing.. the feeling is freatt jeje.. its super good, u so deserved the trophy.. awesum jobb
    -gabi


  • Nephlim
    March 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    A lot of words were used over, but that seemed to magnify the overall effect, and make for a great metaphor. I especially like the way this started out, really smoothly, and it kept up with that momentum all the way to the end where it had a nice stop. I loved how you relate the beginning and the end together ^-^
    GREAT job
    diggin it majorly


  • Arisaurus
    March 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Aww, I liked this one.
    I know that that feels like, and I love your wording.
    It doesn't always have to rhyme. Mine never used to rhyme, but it was the emotions and the flow that make them good poems.
    You still did an amazing job. : ]

    • joelegy
      March 16, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      thanks very much.
      haha.. yeah. its true though. whenever I try to do a rhyming poem.. it turns out SO much worse than all my others.

      so I basically just gave up on them.. so kudos to you for being able to make a poem sound amazing and rhyme at the same time! XD

      • Arisaurus
        March 16, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        Lol. Trust me.
        I takes a LOT of work.
        Especially when you can't get a word to rhyme with the other.
        Ohhhh, that drives me up the wall.
        I was writing a poem last night and the word I had in the line before was person and I couldn't find a word for the life of me that sounded similar to it or complimented it.


        • joelegy
          March 16, 2008
          Edit | Reply
          haha.. oh dear. thats why I suck at them. I have NO patience at all D: its kinda sad actually.

          • Arisaurus
            March 16, 2008
            Edit | Reply
            I was getting really frustrated.
            I had to turn my TV and music off so I could think.
            I eventually just ended up adding a little more to it so I had a different word to rhyme with.

  • LoveToLaugh07
    March 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a truly amazing poem and you deserved the trophy you got. It was very emotional. Wonderful piece.


  • eleno
    March 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is amazing, i just love this. its so full of .. something unexplainable. you did great on this. -eleno


  • Tazmanian Poet
    March 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this is good.


  • Whisper Mckee
    March 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Nice ..great flow easy to read and yeah I get it.


  • grannyeri gold member
    March 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    How wonderful to win silver with this awesome write, liked the flow, the sentiments expressed and the visions this b rings to mind. Unusual title grabs one's interest.


  • Spilledblue
    March 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Grats on winning, you diserved it

  • darkxfox
    March 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is a beautiful poem on love. Congrats on winning Silver


    • joelegy
      March 9, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      thanks for the comment.
      glad you liked the poem.


  • Lowell Poe
    March 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very Walt Whitman.
    A declaration denouncing resignation.
    I found the third stanza particularly poetic.
    I enjoyed this for it's passion.

    MANY MANY BLESSINGS,
    LOWELL POE.


  • Ethereal One gold member
    March 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    excellent expression

    Great love is a wonderful thing. I don't know how many people really experience it, but your poem expresses the emotions very well.

    Congrats on the Silver!

    Ethereal One


  • Jeneralix
    March 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    O.M.G. I like this poem. Beautiful love poem
    Truly you did an amazing job... Yeah. I'm gonna totally show this to my bf... Amazingness
    She'll definitely like this. Thanks for entering!
    I'll come back and comment more later. Promise!

1 - 27 of 27