im dead... no feeling... cut

Cut . . . . .No feeling . . . . . I'm Dead

[too much emotion to let out free, maybe I should keep it locked up inside of me]

Life really, really sucks
No one's ever really there when you need them
Even though they say there are

[too much emotion, I can't hold it inside, it's seeping out]

What are the right words to say:

...He's not here.....my heart is empty
.......no one's here
Alone.....pain

.....misery

Cut myseft.........slowly.........the feeling of the blade,
The feeling of the blood driping........damnit.....I'm so stupid.

I could hardly feel it
I wish I could go deeper........really deep.
Maybe I should try again......no.

I climb into bed and turn out the light
I feel so numb, so unreal, so..............dead.
I just want to feel something
.......something, just something
I want to feel loved by him
I want to feel his kiss,
But he's not here, so it's just not possible.

So I need to feel pain
I want to take a knife and just cut my arm......slowly slice through my skin
Slicing away the loneliness
A long, deep cut
Let the blade take the pain from my heart to my arm
Lose focus of the sad thoughts in my mind
Direct all my attention on the pain of the cut
And let the calming blood drowned all my thoughts

........take my breath away

That same though playing over and over again
.....to feel something.........pain

[cut]

I'm lying in my bed, on my side,
Trying to fall asleep, but it's hard
My body is tired, but my mind is not
And that vioce in my head [cut, cut, cut.....just do it]
.......oh no, I'm I going crazy?
Feeling, feeling, feeling
I just need to feel something again
To know I'm still alive

I strugle as I lie here under my covers
And then I start to cry

What's wrong with me?
What has happened to me?
I'm not who I once was
As the seasons changed, I have changed too
Dose any one feel this same pain I'm going through!?

My thoughts go silent
My emotion slows down
Tonight, I wont cut
I just lie in my bed and cry myself to sleep........there's nothing else to do

.......I'm dead........just a ghost, but who cares anyway.