blank
[Blank Moments.]
This is getting out of hand.
With every step, I feel the crushing
Desire to harm again.
I miss the way the music
Blended in with the cutting.
It only felt natural.
Right now, I'm not myself,
I have a creeping desire to please everyone
But myself.
I am with clean wrists, and a
Smile on my face.
I have no emotion, just a false smile
With a false set of eyes,
A false set of lies to
Tie together the fake
Love spread across my eyes.
The silence in my soul is overwhelming.
I have been clean for only two months,
And I'm already so close to taking a blade
Into the shower and
Cutting away what's left of my sanity,
And replacing the fake with the
True.
If only I hadn't promised.
Because when I promised, I promised three months
Cleanliness,
And so far I have two.
I can't be beautiful for another month,
So save your pity for tomorrow, because
Maybe tomorrow I will actually
Give a damn.
I don't like these goosebumps tonight.
They're another reminder or how cold
I'm becoming.
With my soul this(____________) close
To slipping out of my hands,
And my [impulses] turning from and can't-do
To a must-do.
Its kind of funny how I wish I could
Do terrible things to myself,
But how crazy I am is starting to
Really scare me.
In simpler words,
I miss the blank moments where I didn't know
What I was doing, besides that it felt so good.
I miss the blank moments when I didn't care what happened
As long as I was happier in the end.
For a while that worked. And I swear it did.
But now I just feel more broken.
I need to cut.
A contest entry
- March New Members contest by AP Greeters.
600 points, ended April 8, 2008, 64 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
did you like it? do you thing im good
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Welcome to allpoetry and thanks for entering!
This, whilst effective in its own merit does not fit the theme of the contest and I think you should read the criteria and rules in future.
Cutting is useless and will not help you. Take it from someone who used to do so.
Thank you for entering and good luck in the contest
I hope you enjoy allpoetry
Faerie
Site Greeter -
Thank you for you entry and welcome to allpoetry
Unfortunately this does not fit the criteria of the contest. I am not a fan of cutting poems, the act of cutting sickens me and is quite disturbing.
I encourage you to keep writing to read and comment.
God Bless
Tammy
Site Greeter -
Welcome to Allpoetry
This is a really dark, but honest write. I, also, don't see how it fits into the contest criteria. But thank you for sharing
Gaylene
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Welcome to AllPoetry
I am a fan of dark writes, always have been however in this poem I am confused as to how this fits into the contest criteria?
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Welcome to AllPoetry
There's an interesting idea in this. I like the "blank moments" bit and others. I wonder how this goes with the contest theme though. You dropped some hints about a promise... perhaps someone made you promise you wouldn't harm yourself? I feel this is a bit too dark for the theme, but it has potential. Good luck
~Diana -
forgot applrs lol
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wow
awesome use of meterphores when you said "cut away whats left of my sanity" I know what it's like to feel crazy lol For me at least I've sort of gotten used to the idear
I wrote a poem called cofused It's sort of the same suject as this one.
keep writing
I'm no expert but I think your a good writer
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