sometimes I wonder if my smile
is worth the bazillion dollars
my mom told me
she bought if for.
Lies, they're everywhere.
No one has a face ugly enough
with the scars of wracking depth
to pull it off
when walking down the hallways
wearing clothing paid for
through loose lips
[and a hand that likes
emotions that fall through
tremors.]
Told you sis! It’s impossible
to pull perfection off
even if you have a needle
that stitches
by twining together
the happy words
we biffed out tomorrow’s window
and let grow
as weeds
in the soiled, worthless
ground.
I feel,
no,
I am
so pathetic.
Their eyes burning sentences into my
judged forehead.
One week,
for dancing happiness through the
gray hallways.
Sixty years,
just because I like sketching poetry
onto the fogged bus windows.
And execution,
just for hugging the tears
of a girl
who swung the other
way.
[It kills me enough
thinking of what they must want to do
to her.]
But last night,
I dreamt that I stood on the table
almost centre
of the mating whole
where all the beasts feast.
I sang acquainted rock songs
that bounced of the walls
tired of hearing verbal violence
and feeling helpless souls
pushed up against their educational
shell.
And there were one thousand
rock fists
pumping in the air.
And this time, they weren’t directed
at anyone, just the strumming
of peace’s acceptance
that turned out to be
hiding in the bathroom stall
all along.
Author notes
poem by Ryno [For Rounds Contest]
A contest entry
- Earthquake by Allyce May.
900 points, ended March 26, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Round #1 (enter away) by takemypainaway.
390 points, ended March 22, 2008, 52 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I WAS ROBBED!!!!!!!! (Invite Only) by ten thousand cicadas.
1800 points, ended April 10, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Shoot.
Comments
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I admire your ability to examine yourself and your life and commit it to paper in the most interesting way. It is clear that you have an empathic soul. "Their eyes burning sentences into my
judged forehead." is an amazing line. I see those stares daily and pray that those who are judged will have the strength to stand by their convictions. If there is justice in the world they will be able to look back on their high school years as a time of growth and of learning what truly matters. Peace, Liz


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Great one Ryan. I like the pasting together of separate incidences to portray the same message and the dream at the end that makes a statement to overcome all the cruelty. Well done.


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A great example of poetry. So much, these days, it seems the 'modern' poets in attempting to use the fewest possible word will lose so much- powers of conveyance, the idea of a larger story is quickly lost with them. I have not read any other of your poetry Mr. Ryno but I must say, my compliments to you on this wonderful story, this excellent poem.


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"she bought if for." -stanza one
['if' should be 'it' - right?] unless i'm missing something.
besides that,
loved it.


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Oh yeah! I love the last verse, like standing up for what you believe in. I am a rock girl myself, so you get bonus points there

I am wondering if you meant "hole" in the verse rather that "whole" though
This reminds me of how a narrow-minded society tries to hold us down; I'm glad some of us manage to stay true to ourselves
Thanks for sharing!
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wonderfull poem i can feel some roughness in these
feelings..
great poem
thank you for entering!!
**kat -
After I read the poem, I read all the comments these nice people have left, and realized that all I can say is just an imitation of them.

I'd write poetry on the windows with you. I'd like to skip through hallways, too. I've given up on looks... I hate powder and eye shadow and mascara, and my hair is like a spazzed cat on my head.
Look, I've only known you for a couple of days, but I can already tell that you're a great person. Don't try to fit in... It's more fun being yourself and waiting for people to follow you, because they liked the same things all along.
Don't stop writing. I'll be here if you need it.
your new friend,
Cassie


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Awww. No matter what I'll never reject a hug.
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Hugs make everything better.
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This just mellowed out my eyes. If that makes any sense.
I loved the clarity and honesty of your feelings, it's simply wondrous. & You've gotten so many hugs already, I'd feel awkward giving you another one.
But what the hell--
*Hug*

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I'm glad I could mellow your eyes

I love hugs

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Thanks
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While this is out there... and not the best poetically it is definitly truthful in my perception... from the heart and that always means a lot.
Highlights... definitly.
I'll just say that you have great personality and don't ever change that reality.
Peace and best.


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I probably should shut t f up but I got to sat that you and many other youngsters here I , in my younger years , would have picked on and made fun of because I was a cruel and heartless kid who thought poetry was gay... lol sorry but i'm tellin' it like it was... not that gay is a bad thing of corse but basically when you get older you don't caree about what anyone thinks because you know who you truly are ..,.......
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I understand
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Thank-you
!
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couldn't remember if i said wow!
ok.. im silly... just couldn't help myself... you know, re-reading this poem and all.. -
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.... did i say
?
the best ever... what an incredible, incredible write! i would rewrite almost the entire poem here if i attempted to put a favorite line.. let me see, nope.. i can't do it... ALL GREAT! unbelievable! i am bookmarking this.
WOW... still
i am going to be thinking about your poetry for awhile now....
did i say wow???


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Awww!
I'm glad it got to you
Got to me writing it
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Woah!
Slow down there, little boy. Back up a few pixels and press backspace. You? Worthless? Pathetic? Since when? Never.
I agree with the person donw below that it's good getting it off your chest. But you may not believe it. You need permission from me - and boy, you ain't getting it.
There comes a time where everyone looks into that cursed mirror and despise what they see. The reasons and reflections are different but the detest or dislike is all the same. Trust me, I've been down that road so many times that I mostly avoid the mirror.
There are things that are bitter in life - the more you deal with them, the more stronger you becomes [and for poets, the more emotion you have towards writing] People often say it, but none of them really know - but things will be better. Simply because things don't change, over time you learn how to deal and it all becomes alright.
You're not ugly - I've seen way too many pictures of you. I admit the pink hair one is kind of gay but that's out now and you're one hot chico -
Too little right now but you'll find a girl who will adore your face for hours without end 
And your poem - I love that last stanza. It's like all the hate built up until a certain point and then was all released!
Man, ryan, probably about time I get a little emotional and say I'm here for you if anything [,little boy
]
Never ♥

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Awww. You are so wise chandni!!!

I know everyones there for me
Just something I had to get off my chest and I am hopefully going to mold it until it turns into something somewhatish decent 

you no likey the pink hair!!!

2(*hug) x 64(
x
) = Loads of hugs!
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I'm not wise, lol - just mental
pink .. eugh ... ewwwwwwww
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Will a huge hug help you feel better?

You're anything but worthless and pathetic, hun. You mean a lot to a lot of us.


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thankyous!!
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awwwwwwww. I'm SO glad you wrote this to get it off your chest. You may not think that this is very good, but it's the rawness that matters most.
I definitely don't agree in the least that you're worthless and pathetic, far from it. I hate how the world naturally judges people by their covers and by labelling them, it's unfair. It really is. But you are better than the stereotypes, Ryan. You are allowed to be who you are and have your values. Not everyone will agree with that - but really, not everyone will ever agree with the beliefs and behaviours and feelings of any person. But that doesn't make you pathetic for being different, far from it.
The ending is very interesting, in the accepted atmosphere where everyone is treated alike. Because it's the equity we strive for, equal treatment. However, if we all meld into that mold and stereotype and live by each other's jugement, the world would be a very flat place. That said, I personally like you much better the way you are. You're you, not just some Play-doh that's molded to what everyone else would like you to be. Your smile is special. You're creative and caring, and there's definitely NO problem with that. You shouldn't need to hide your true self because of social pressures. On the contrary, despite what you may think, you're good enough the way you are.
*tight huggles*





love ya, Ryan


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AWE! Christina! AWE! x 20000
x 16 bazillion.
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back X 16 bazillion
♥
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