Broken hearts and trade marks
you can only walk so far in the dark.
Smile sweetly as you pass by
as you regret your final lie.
Put the gun up to your head
pull the trigger and you're dead.
So, broken hearts and trade marks
you walked to far in the dark.
Previous comments on this:
"I think my heart was just split in two and resewn back together" Lydia
"very catchy, couldnt imagine a world as screwed up as yours"- Meliah
"great it tells how all of us feel at one point or another"- Elise
"Broken hearts and trade marks rocks ur face bitch!- Angel
"i wanted to get a broken heart and a trade mark tattooed now i have all the more reason to do it cuz theres a story bhinde it now."-Scarlet
Author notes
bloodXsoakedXrazor
A contest entry
- all the prewrites you want by serenity silvermoon.
600 points, ended March 29, 2008, 150 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - background's and poems prewrites only by serenity silvermoon.
400 points, ended December 20, 2008, 88 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
...
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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A lot of emotions in this one! What a read! You did a great job on this one, even if it is sad...
Congrats on the Gold!
and love
Nyetta
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Should be too far
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i did not like reading this one but it was a great poem very sad it made me cryed because my uncle gary comminted suicide with a gun when i was 12 year old he was my best friend and the only one at the time that cared about me thanks for sharing this you have great tallent keep your pen flowing and i will keep reading gob bless you forever and always love your friend serenity lynn silvermoon
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Nice, I like it a lot. I especially like the lines,
"Put the gun up to your head,
Pull the trigger and you're dead."
Sticks in your head and makes you think about it long after you've finished reading it. I like that it's short and concise....one thing I have to wonder though--
What do you mean by trade mark? -
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tehe its memorable o yay o yay lol so u nerd how r ya? and btw add me on myspace.
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AWEWOME poem
your such a sweet poet: again, a freaking breath of fresh air.
much love -
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lol thanx so much ^^
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Interesting and very short but straight up deep and emotional reminds me of my shorts very similar to this.
Great poem.
Sincerely,
Lonelywolf Tasagka -
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thank ya and ill read sum of them if i have the time between school and work and all
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Easily the best poem ever writen hands down WE LOVE YOU
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thx ^^
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Iloveit.
it's amazing. -
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thanx
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Nice rhyming, easy and comfortable, not too flashy and just enough to tie the ends of the poem together without knotting them up ^-^. I liked how you [almost] ended it the same way you began the poem, but instead played off the beginning to make the ending sound like a real end. Did that make sense?
GREAT job
diggin it majorly
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lol thanks and that did make sense. this is the first thing ive written in a while thats actually been good and amazingly it wasnt inspired by bvroken hearts or trade marks it was inspired by my best friend jared and he doesnt even no it =]
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Great
Full of emotion and imagary talented piece filled with great ryming I love poems that rynme. Broken hearts and trade marks is a brillent sentence makes the poem stand out and say I'm a powerfully sad poem
take care -
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thanks ^.^ my friend jared inspired it and how he inspired it had nothing to do with broken hearts or trade marks oddly
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very good....great job! keep it up
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