Kinhinsho…
Bud in each,
Drift to centre.
No inside
No out
Only…
Only
Seeing
without watching
Listening
without hearing
Being
without Without
Not the car,
Not the traffic...
Not the stone,
Not the flow...
Both
But neither.
Absence in omnipresence
Each breeze
A breath
Each step
A miracle
Each moment
Forever
Feet fall
in order
as only feet can
until again
being ceases
and I return
...Chukaisho
Author notes
Kinhin is a type of zen mediation done while walking. This is my modern walking meditation.
In Kinhin, each step is taken after a full breath. I've tried to write the piece implying a full breath between each of the lines, but I wasn't sure how else to do it without complecated punctuaion, or forced line breaks...
A contest entry
- So.... you're a poet huh? And you don't like to ryhme? by Melissa Burns.
375 points, ended March 6, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Where does it take you?
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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I like it. The structure of the stanzas and your wording were both very conducive to the meditative tone. I have not done much walking meditation (though I have done tons of walking and quite a bit of meditation); trying to replicate this in a piece of poetry is no easy task.
As an aside, I always find a way to tie meditation to the curriculum and then I invite another teacher at school who has taught meditation for 25 years to lead my classes through relaxation and meditation. This is reminiscent of relaxation exercises we have done. What I'm trying to say is that your poem brings me right back to that state of relaxation/meditation so effectively.
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ps
didnt care for the 'omnipresence' I might have made it simply presence, but Im not you...really....and I am so wordy I usually never know where to stop. -
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Thanks for the suggestion!
I'm not sure that 'absence in presence' has the same effect. What I'm trying to get at is the idea that I am nowhere because I everyhwere.
I also think I feel the flow more with 'omnipresence', the contrast/paradox is further underscored because of the number of words in 'omnipresence'
I need to think about it though... I see where you're comming from.
Thank you for your thoughtful comment.
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as only feet can....
it takes me no where and everywhere, in stillness and motion. You are an excellent poet sir.Thank you....
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Thank you for entering my humble little contest. I am having fun exsposing myself to something different. Good luck
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I have to admit, for this kind of contest, i'm alittle suprised at how shallow your comments were. I mean no offence, I just expected to get a perspective on my piece that maybe I wouldn't otherwise have attracted. Even if you don't like it, tell me, and tell me why... we all need to grow as artists, and to do that, we need objective feedback.
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