Carrying garbage bags stuffed with
five cent deposits.
They wobble down city streets
stopping at recycling containers
along the way to check for
these five cent gold nuggets,
that others are just too damn lazy
to being back
the next time they go shopping.
Aint it great to be rich.
To be able to throw away nickels,
as if ninety-five cents could get you
a dollars worth of anything
at the checkout counter.
A contest entry
- Give me your misfit poem by Sarah957.
425 points, ended March 8, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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I like what you're saying here. For me in reading, the bad grammar distracts me from the poem. My suggestion for revision is to clean up the grammar (which will also point out other things) and re-enter it.
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Yes it is! And you are rich in imagery and content. Well done.
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This really makes you stop and think about how much people really do take for granted. Its amazing really how wasteful people are. And how sad to be so poor you are hunting for nickles. I love how you got into the bitter mentality of a person who struggles while others waste.
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