I spread out the map and survey the curves of her ripeness,
Her open and oft-raped rolling folds of greenapple fawns.
I let my eye ravish and gambol and scuff out its trail
'Til through city, mute village, briar patch and lawn.
There is a nakedness here and a soft-whispered threat
Amongst the crumbling tenements and boarded-up doors,
Between the safe, the unsafe and the chained-to-the-railing,
Heads bowing to crack, of whip to proud shire horse.
Closer, while grains of opinion divide, we zoom microscopic;
Tendrils of oldness, draped on the past in overfed muse.
This shrill newness of bad seed, a rotting stench from within,
Casts a pall over Battles-of-Britain, restraint and taboo.
Along folds of my map lie hedges and babies in hand-me-downs.
Muffled up close as terrified, embarrassed and saintly.
And on closing and putting away, she would not presume, but
Honour's bell remains, tremulous, repeating so faintly.
So fold, my fair country, lost zenith of stately breath.
Let me capture the dust of our chains in empire undone,
Which hang or choke a Kingdom's bright, unspeakable past.
Farewell, in folds of England, to the fiery unsetting sun.
Author notes
A love poem to England and sadly a farewell letter, of sorts.
A contest entry
- Give me Everything you've Got by CrystalJet.
600 points, ended March 14, 2008, 318 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Imagery by angryelf6886.
350 points, ended April 5, 2008, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Screw the Invite Contests (Anything) by ShadedRequiem.
300 points, ended April 15, 2008, 35 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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a good piece, full of rich descriptive language that shows love in the heart, england, i live there and i have never thought of her so. excellently done.
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Excellent
We know it is a World Map. (The Commonwealth)
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Great work! A wistful look at what was and what might have been. Excellent.
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This is really pretty and elegant. I love the description. This is really awesome. Great job. Alyssa
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Touching
This was a lovely tribute to mother England.
A patriotic honoring of a ancient establishment
found in the blood of many brave and weary
souls of honor and pride. Well done
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This created a since of erotica that seemed above and beyond the normal love of one for his country, but it was done beautifully, with a nastalgic feeling that bespoke farewell. Great job, beautifully symmetrical lines and it is beyond me why you didn't win in any of these contest. Great job and keep writing.
Hugs and Kisses,
Tiphanie -
Love this!
You show a deep measure of sensitivity to your subject in this wonderful, evocative piece.
Your descriptive words flow over the reader's imagination like the folds of the landscape, and take us with you down the lanes, streets and into the briar patches.
A fabulous marriage of unspoilt beauty and the blight of civilisation, historical richness and modern poverty of spirit.
Although I no longer reside there, I grew up in England and felt every word of this delightful poem deeply.
Excellent writing ~ so very glad I took the plunge and clicked on this.
Keep that pen moving!
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Powerful, yet sensitive and picturesque ....
the poem unfolded the landscape, writ upon maps of places and scopes, its change and silent suffering of lost dreams ...
This poem is a future perspective, shared by many around the world, wherever they may be.
Blessed be.
Myra
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Masterful. You make me want to go to England right now. Very powerful dear. Bravo. And what wonderful images: the shire horse, the Battle of Britain, babies and the wrinkled folds of a map that has the qualities of a woman. Well done, poet. Show us more.
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Nice Work
Let me capture the dust of our chains in empire undone,
Which hang or choke a Kingdom's bright, unspeakable past.
Wow. Two solidly wonderful lines.
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A Lamented Farewell
I liked this piece, all about the farewell to a country long since lost in time
How piognant
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Wonderfully penned
I enjoy reading the words of people that have as much pride in their country as you. I never have had the opportunity to visit England, the land of my ancestors, but someday perhaps I will.
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Parting is Sweet Sorrow
This is a mature poem that is sophisticated and meaningful...a semi-sweet, semi-depressing, but fitting, salute to a vastly under-rated country (these days). The sensual metaphors are exceptional. I love this work! Check out my under-rated original music at www.nakedadam.net -
Wonderful visions of your country found in these lines; liked the flow, rhythm and rhyme and near rhyme in these lines - sounds like you love this country but are leaving it soon. Sounds like you will miss it terribly as well.
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Interesting
It seemed asthough you were making
your peace with the past in order to go
foward into the future. Reminiscing about
the things which meant the most to you
about your dear old Enland. I sensed
a feeling of mixed emotions. Which is
to be expected seeing as how we never
get over what we know as home.
Nice work. -
ah ENGLAND great word useage 'gambol' very strong last stanza vg lines:"Which hang or choke a Kingdom's bright, unspeakable past.
Farewell, in folds of England, to the fiery unsetting sun." thanks for sharing your geopolitical map of ENGLAND with us regards zaj title=good 1st lines=good opening last lines=vg
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a good poem - i live in england and it is nice to read something that speaks on our country rather than american all the time. a good atmosphere here, of sorrow and times.
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England rocks! I love how you have described it! The last stanza was beautiful and the last line was a powerful finish. I liked how you used the word "unsetting" to describe the sun of England. =)
Good write. I wonder why it's a farewell letter...?
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Very good, with initial impressions of earlier poets - Gerald Hopkins comes to mind at times. I like the nostalgia of it.
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Excellent write
The picture of beauty andlove for your country is exquesite. I have always wanted to See England & Ireland. My friends & bro. told me it is pure beauty. Bit alas todays Americans such as I are not very welcome
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Don't believe all that trash about American's not being welcome in England. It's a total myth. We have as balanced a world view as it's possible to have, and I have American friends and work colleagues and they are as happy as can be! Come over and I'll buy you a traditional English Starbucks coffee
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More of a lament for the times gone by, most of what you say i can relate to, often i have walked the streets of our fare cities and villages and found most younger people disorientated as to where and what they think of as being England/English.
To me it is as if the very being of England has been swallowed up and lost beneath beaurocractic wishy washy twaddle.
wherever you may go good poet take care and always try to remember England as it was and not how it became.
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So fairwell my love of England as I fold the map to say my good-byes! Intersting twist on the love poem for sure, so well done here my friend. ~Sie
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