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Body, mind, and soul...

… are seamless; rainbow colours merge
and concentrate into a solid, white light –
that is what I am, what you made me, make me.
    Take me by the hand…

… and glide your palm across mine, aching,
trailing your fingertips, leaving your taste
on the air which you make quiver, taut, sounding.
    Take me in each dream…

… or in my flitting thoughts, my memories,
my special places where I go to and you are mine,
a smooth, round pebble of imagination.
    Take hold of who I am…

… I sell my soul to you – you lease it back
for this one, quick heartbeat of a lifetime, hanging
by one slender thread, by one tender breath.
    Take me – body, mind, soul…

… because you blew my mind, my soul and body
follow, streaming, a sea spray and birds crying
in your wake, awakened, never to be forsaken,
    taken…

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • LadyLavender gold member
    March 14, 2008

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    exquisite, and so tender. I found also a smaller poem within your poem (the last lines in each stanza):


    Take me by the hand…
    Take me in each dream…
    Take me – body, mind, soul…
    Take hold of who I am…
    taken…

    I'm taken...this is beautiful write.






    • Mairi bheag gold member
      March 14, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Yes indeed they can stand alone. I wrote this so that the title is also part of the poem, the last line of each stanza leads to the first line of the next, and the very last line leads back round to the title - so that the whole work can be a circle.

      I am very glad you liked it. Thank you.


  • GoingCoastal
    March 8, 2008
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    Enjoyed this write...the imagery flowed really well and my mind raced as I read each line....


  • Peteskid gold member
    March 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    a sweet song, simply tantalizing and beautiful...'skid

  • Bad Bill
    March 6, 2008

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    A beautiful love poem, both delicate AND strong in its tone and phrasing. My only quibble would the use of the expression "blew my mind"--it's too "slangy" and at odds with the articulate tone of the rest of the piece, I think. Apart from that, an excellent poem.

    Bill


    • Mairi bheag gold member
      March 6, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks Bill. I do see what you mean, but it has a double meaning, linking back to "breath" in the previous stanza. Too subtle, maybe? Is slang necessarily inarticulate anyway? The language I speak naturally used to be a creole of Anglo-Saxon and Norman French at one time. Hmmm.


  • Melodies
    March 6, 2008

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    A passionate write that comes in a whirlwind of scent and taste... and music.


  • Amera gold member
    March 5, 2008

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    Wow! No wonder I love you. You truly have a beautiful mind. You just made love to me in verse.

    Love,
    AmYou


    • Mairi bheag gold member
      March 6, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Wow - if I have done that, then this poem has worked! That is precisely the reaction I would have wished for from a special reader.

      (I wonder if the contest judge will feel the same about it?)

1 - 12 of 12