She was the gentle age of four,
inquisitive eyes of light blue,
hair as soft as angel's wings.
She sat upon his lap in his truck.
Though only four, she knew this
wasn't right. He was writhing his groin
into her backside.
She sat perfectly still, heart pounding.
'God please stop this.....'
She felt so wicked. She wanted to cry,
but dared not. At the first chance,
she flew from the truck like a fawn.
Finding a shading bush, she crawled
beneath it, shivering. No one must
ever know. Even still, she loved her
PaPa.
A contest entry
- Simply Sad by Dorcha Runda.
420 points, ended May 26, 2008, 37 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Wake up to ALL Abuse - Prewrites Welcome by Miss Faerie.
700 points, ended March 3, 61 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
I'd like some feedback.
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Judged
Your poem is very stark and the words just made my heart hurt and my chest ache.
Your imagery is vivid and the image it creates so unfair for a child.
Thank you for entering my contest and good luck
Shari
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I was expecting this to be about a little girl being murdered or something but when I read lines 6 & 7 I almost cried...it might be embaresing, but it's true...but the last sentence shows how much kids need their parents...It is shocking, but true.
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"flew like a fawn".... wow,that really captures the moment well. This was a little hard for me to read because of my background of abuse, but even with that it was a wonderful piece, full of heartfelt emotion.
Kathryn
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This one is hard for me to handle esp the graffic descritpion I cannot understand or even concieve why anyone would try or even think of doing this
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Yes, children know that what their fathers or the adult friends of their mother or father do to them is not right, but they dare not tell anyone. You have really brought that to the forefront in this poem. They do still love teheir dads, but know....
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I can relate...
Very good example of the unconditional love children give even to the evilest of adults... Good Write... -
Shocking
Beautiful imagery mixed with the obscene. This was a real shocker, and captured the horrible moment vividly.
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