I swear i would never be one of "them,"
who lied,and sinned, and severed there skin.
Who cried through the nights,
and lied through the days.
Yet never once said they weren't okay.
Many months had gone and passed.
The swear i had sworn hadn't last,
its now me who lies, and sins, and severs my skin...
and cries in the night and wishes it all would end.
The path i walk is dark and steep,
With no one to stop me from going to deep,
with bruises on my ego,
and tears fall as i go.
I realize were all a bit of "them"
yet now i hate myself.
Because of the sin....
A contest entry
- In the beginning by bluecollarlove.
1600 points, ended April 30, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your Life, Your Style by James Ether.
300 points, ended March 24, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ~☻~ Society Sucks! So What!?! ~☻~ by Shassidy.
525 points, ended May 25, 2008, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything by crystallynnbradford.
300 points, ended July 30, 2008, 88 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
nd its all because of "him"
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
-
This is a great piece! I really like the imagery in this, it works well for the poem. I also like how you used the "" around "them" and the "..." as well. I particularly like the lines "Who cried through the nights, / and lied through the days. / Yet never once said they weren't okay." and "I like those lines because they work well as descriptive lines to get across what you're referring to, so I think that worked really well. The title is pretty creative and it reflects the poem well, so great job with that. Great job and good luck in the contest!
-
sometimes you have to realize we are all them and they are us. they show physical pain but severing their cover. we show our pain by bleeding the pain through ink. we are the same as they. we only hide it better i am on both sides. i am they and they are me.
ali -
Very nice
I will say though that your art shall be your crutch and once you realize that you are where you are only you can set you free
-
I can see a lot of these writes will take me back in time.I will greatly enjoy reading more of you.Thank You very much.
-
I am sorry!!! Can u find some other entry...
-
Sorry,, its more than 10, ignore it and dont enter it,
ha, sorry again -
so sad
-
beautiful write i love:
who lied,and sinned, and severed there skin.
Who cried through the nights,
and lied through the days.
Yet never once said they weren't okay.
this just gives me a mental image and i really love it!!!!
i love the whole thing.... lol
-
Wow.
I really like it. I Can relate to very well. Lol. But yeah. I like it!
-
incredible
this is beautiful.
Adding your comment:
1 - 10 of 10
