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Fire and Ice

The end of days,
shattering
Fire and Ice
Does it make you quiver?

The world will end,
one day at a time
But how will it go?
Be it fire or ice.

The earth starts to crumble,
the core of the world
breaking down beneath us.

The world,
it will end
Caused by fire
or ice

Which to choose,
which to choose?
Both would be nice.

Author notes

SilentOrchestra

Or Marissa

A contest entry

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Comments


  • sunny day
    March 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I do have to agree with the host on this and say that adding to it will give it more depth. It has good thoughts and can be so much more. Thank you for your entry and best of luck in the contest. Joyce


  • CitrineSunrise silver member
    March 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I think you have the beginnings of a provocative poem but it reads more like an outline than a completed verse. I would love to see you flesh it out a little. Thank you for your entry. Peace, Liz


  • notorious gold member
    March 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    The second stanza sounds like filler and the fourth stanza sounds like a reiteration of the third stanza...

    "the earth starts to crumble" could be "the earth crumbles". "starts to" is unneeded and has no real purpose except to make the line longer. Without the "starts to", the line is more...raw XD