(This first one here is my entry to this contest. Please dismiss the others as I do not with to delete them from this page. Thank you & enjoy the contest.)
Woman rises from Her votive kneel and whispers you from Her golden tome:
Hallowed by body of silk and sand,
Women weep slow tributaries into the Moments.
A grayed visage lined finely round the eyes, her skin ebbing as she recedes;
A mother cradling her almond womb as it overflows white.
“Oh, how my supple breasts bloom and wilt, bloom and wilt…”
The syllables traipse behind Her, gathering themselves up from the dust of Her dress.
“I will die one day, white against the sky,
as go shattering to the ground millions of glass birds
and all strands of finite woe that
Woman must translate or trim
lest She be less than so…”
Stipule in the Shade:
There are nights requesting reverence to no avail,
billowed beddings which rise up to receive our quietude
but cannot radiate vernal glory
nor reflect our bleared refulgence.
And there are nocturnes where the skin of our backs aligns in reticence,
curvaceous gulfs eclipsed by the cold of nape and spine.
Indifferent, we are turned from our marrow:
a labyrinth of limbs, adjacent ribs, and affection;
a sunless coppice murmuring of homage and affinity.
In the blear of quiet repose
yet remains a votive Ever-Presence,
reminding in mellifluous familiarity:
"I will see your Gentle face
the moment that I die."
Messenger of Transience:
Primed pasture efflorescing
the same architecture of mother’s penitence:
sleepless crescents cradle our eyes.
And father’s antiquated books,
of blanched pages and sallow bindings,
herald a reminder of mortality—regretful and certain—
to my supple, benighted countenance.
Author notes
I am open to all.
In a list
A contest entry
- Skin by Heart Sutra.
1000 points, ended May 6, 2008, 41 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best Poem You Have Ever Written by Cherokee.
300 points, ended July 31, 2008, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
-
The first line of the first poem seems to distract from the poem. Would you be opposed to maybe a bit of editting? I am adding you to the finalists list with that idea in mind.
-
this is astonishing writing, i am simply at a loss for words. how does one respond to perfection other than with speechless bliss. thank you for sharing these poems with us.
-
-
I truly appreciate the amorous comment! Thanks so much for viewing. Ever-glad to please.
jen
-
-
This is beautiful poetry, jen...i'm quite at a loss for words here. The three poems almost read like a poem written in the vignette style...each allowing the reader a different view and still creating a greater whole.
Wonderful!
~ Nicolette
-
-
Thank you so much, Nicolette. I've been meandering through the other entries in Zayra's contest as well, and yours certainly is one before which words recoil!
-
-
Nice to see this creative twist and turning...
Beautifully done...good example of parts creating a greater 'whole'.
fascinating work
-
-
Thank you, ariosto, for the read & compliment. Pleased to please you.
jen
-
-
some paused me more than others but none zipped me through
the first was a stark one to start with
its spread out presentation cushioned the shock of all to be released within. the title had the vocabulary of serious tones, but then piece itself had basic personal phrases as for sincerity...
there's a validity in the gradualness and the quickness in checking function contribution, as sacred scrapbook through mirror and emotions, while the reflection's sharpness is softened when asked to go by maker giving us stronger vision restorable... hence 'lest She be less than so…”' is by hunches we don't need hundred years as to more than just anatomical awareness. endearingly read.
your second one seemed a complete rest from the subjective cry but neither a total objective bearing of one's glow and form or flimsiness as "billowed beddings which rise up to receive our quietude" with scenes striking. the ending reminds me of impact upon many things to be known or triggered yet.
wow, the last felt really academic from diminished force of heart of the first two but with solid ingrained features of togetherness and whether that's off or wonderful potential needing pull...
can remind more pleasant than notions,
babies are my subject
-
Commentary
Maybe it's me saying this but I feel more drawn to the second and third writes more than the first for some odd reason. Nevertheless combined, they are all superb. -
-
Well, it IS you saying that. And I thank you for appreciating the last one--wasn't quite certain of its quality in comparison. Glad to you liked them & thank you for the kind words.
jen
-
-
OMG. This is pure poetry. Speechless..
-
-
Thank you so much!
jen.
-
-
INCREDIBLE . . . you write with the fluidity of a mountain stream trickling down from a glacial lake . . . the imagery in this one is astounding!!!
-
-
With all the graciousness of a limb bowing to light, I thank you for your kind words.
jen
-
-
this is amazing poetry...omgoodness.
My favorite is the first one.
I love the word 'votive.' - you don't read that word in many poems, and I like how you have used it twice here...the first two poems work well together with their similarities..
there are so many lines to love in this collection ...although I absolutely love the longest ones..it's like the longer they are the better, in these poems..lol.
very beautiful............
-
-
Thanks - I'm taking an art history class and recently picked up "votive" (votive statues standing in continual prayer). I fell for it too.
The first one is my favorite as well. And as always, I so appreciate the sincerity of your comments.
jen.
-
-
"There are nights requesting reverence to no avail,
billowed beddings which rise up to receive our quietude
but cannot radiate vernal glory
nor reflect our bleared refulgence."
I think you must know by now how much I admire your work, your turn of phrase, your vast imagery & detailing of emotions formerly unattainable. Please let me know the moment you are published. I want a copy of my own, to hold in my always~librarian hands. Good luck in Zayra's contest, Sweetie. 
Wanda
-
-
You will be the first AP poet to know then! Your "always-librarian hands" -- so charming. I'd Love to fill them with my work. Thank you for the eagerness and kindness toward my writing. Always appreciated.
jen
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 18 of 18
