The way she nestles up to me
for no apparent reason,
makes my heart flutter
into curls of joy.
Her essence of warmth
is beguiling,
much like the sunlight
over a desert spring.
I discovered my affectionate
other the moment our eyes
met and she smiled.
It was more dazzling than
the darkness of space
spilling over into a milkyway.
The spinning wheel of time
gave me a glimpse into love.
Most precious than life itself
she's the fulfillment of
all my dreams.
I feel her sweet spirit
wading over my yearning soul.
Casting a net of enchantment
that has seized me for an eternity.
Author notes
*WHEN TOUCHED~~~LIBA RADOVA
Most precious than life itself" should read 'more'?
"wadding over my yearning soul" should read 'wading'?
Just a prelim read, not my true comment as I want to
leave plenty of time for edits. Thank-you for entering! Blue
Blue Rew,
I thank you for pointing out my error
in the spelling of the word *wading.
However I must alert you to the fact that
I purposely used Most instead of More
in the line "Most precious than life itself."
This was my own style of phrasing this
particular thought. I hope I won't be
penalized for trying to be original.
Thanks again. Blessings
A contest entry
- CAN YOU PAINT BEAUTY-BLINDFOLDED? A Twist on The Image Theme! by Blue Rew.
1439 points, ended March 10, 2008, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Dear poet, I would never penalize for originality...
that's why I phrase my suggestions a certain way.
Now on to the read...
You explore romance and make comparisons to nature.
"the darkness of space spilling over into a milkyway"
even takes the reader beyond earth, and alludes to
a feeling that can not be held to one planet.
I like the soft feel of this. "Casting a net" seemed
to draw in some of the hidden image for me. There
is also a sort of "timelessness" to the image you've
chosen. The flow carries the reader along as if the
lines were ripples running to shore. Blue
PS-There is to be NO further editing now... -
Oh how beautiful I thouroghly enjoyed this peice! Awesome job write on!
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good luck with the contest 'kick-ass' opening lines very strong ending thanks for sharing and for the footnotes regards zaj
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You have that knack...you are a romantic poet. This is beautiful and full of love and affection....a wonderful emotional write......write ON!.....novy
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Beautiful
Again your words touch my soul, darell. Another fantastic write, especially this line Most precious than life itself
she's the fulfillment of
all my dreams.
Absolutely beautiful.
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