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A Blooming Good Time



Like a caterpillar
Moving from its cocoon
To become a beautiful butterfly
This feelings has arisen itself
From its hiding place in my heart
To become airborn and beautiful
To let these feelings fly
Through the air between us

A wonderful beginning
With a blooming in between
To result in a happiness at its extreme

What could be better
Than this pretty result
Something that has grown
Through time, so graciously given


Author notes

<3 I love you

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    March 15, 2008

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    I love the metaphor of the butterfly in this. I'm glad to know you love me, I am not used to that feeling . Beautifully written here James, such heartfelt, you are defiantely a romantic writer. You are in love with love and there's nothign wrong with that, I am too.


  • NoUseForAName
    March 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I went back and looked it up. I don't want you to get defensive or to get your feelings hurt, but I'm going to be honest with you.

    I removed the poem because it won't win the contest. This way you can enter it into another one where it'll have a better chance of placing.

    It's not that it's terrible, because it's not. I am guessing that you are a young writer (I don't mean age) and have been writing for just a handful of years. You show potential in this piece and you show that you grasp what poetry is. However, because you're young (I mean age) the metaphors are weak and the rhythm of the piece is off. These aren't necessarily bad things, they're things that become stronger as you develop as a writer and grow with life experience.

    I don't want to discourage you, in fact, I think you should be encouraged. But because of these things the poem just won't place in my contest. So I removed it.

    I hope this makes sense and that I haven't hurt your feelings.


  • WithNobodyButYou
    March 6, 2008

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    This is another great poem, I love the metaphors in here! Verrry relavent to the title hahaa -god I sound like such a geek...-. Anyway, keep writing! =]


  • Lady Australis silver member
    March 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    beautiful brother


  • x-Black-Butterfly-x gold member
    March 5, 2008

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    this is beautiful the imagery and emotions are amazing and beautiful well done bro..but SLOW DOWN WITH THE WRITING

1 - 5 of 5