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The Post-Contest Soapbox Derby

 

 

 

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Upon Winning a Gold Trophy With an Unworthy Poem:

~

What? I won! I can’t believe it! No. Really. Now that I look back at this piece, it really sucks and needs a whole lotta' work! It reads like a loaf of rye bread, it’s so dry. Why, it’s just a mouthful of stale crackers… OH, I feel so low now, beating all those other way, way better poets. What on earth tickled your fancy here I’ll never know… was it my incessant flattery of your work, or the $20?

 

Conversely, “What? I won with that miserable piece? Oh, I see... there was a lack of competition... from the teeming ranks of amateurs that have flooded the site, and from the dull and unoriginal academians who lord it over them..."

 

 

 

 

Upon Winning a Gold Trophy With a Worthy Poem:

~

Thank you thank you thank you I can retire now. I am famous for life. Bring on the women and wine. I will go out like Attila the Hun. I will await the beating of paths to my wise and wonderful door by those seeking the answers to life. Buy one get one free on Tuesdays. Just tack those laureates upon my noggin and besmirch me with your sweet approvals. Nothing matters now. I am a Goldie!

 

 

 

 

Upon Losing a Contest With a Lousy Poem:

 

Jeeze, look at all those great writers. I am dirt. Envious dirt. Envious, MURDEROUS dirt. All those poems CAN’T be THAT good! Let me find faults with them and cut them down to size, so in the next contest the poets will be too intimidated to write anything good, and I’ll finally win something with my crap…

 

 

 

 

Upon Losing a Contest With Clearly the Best Poem:

 

Oh, jeeze, you are obviously kissing up to the winners, trying to be popular and accepted, trying to make friends with the dregs, who you misperceive as the in-crowd. An iconoclast like me had no chance here, it is clear. Breaking honorable mention is the best I could have hoped for. Well, in 50 years, when my piece is a textbook classic, they’ll look back at your contest and pity your poor judgment and psychopathic need for acceptance by dimwitted sadists, and be amazed at the good sport I was and the grace I displayed while losing to such drivel!
 

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • Danny Beatty gold member
    March 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    all four dimensions .... .... enjoyed your dry sense of humor and the pic ....


  • galfalfa gold member
    March 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    LOL, gosh -"pathetic judgment and psychopathic need for acceptance by dimwitted sadists" , what a good sport

    Loved your speeches, thanks for the laughs,

    galfalfa


  • LAPoe gold member
    March 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Ok I don't care what you write, I'm buying all of it!!!
    Singularly I am going to make you famous by supplying you with a never ending income!! of course I have no money per se... but if you'd only take IOU's you'd be rich!!
    Ok this was F'ing brilliant!! then I have come to expect no less!!
    laurie


    • wbiro gold member
      March 6, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      too kind, too kind... income... yes, a major distraction having to create it! What we need are Royal Courts... whatever happened to such patrons of the arts? Now it's work work work create work work work... but then that makes us who we are...


  • LadyDementia gold member
    March 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A wicked piece, love the fact you took the prompt a step further and did one of each. Had me giggling some Best of luck in the contest


    • wbiro gold member
      March 6, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      thanks, glad to have tickled your funny bone... now don't tell me that is a major feat?!

  • Yvette Champ gold member
    March 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Hilarious!

    The poet takes satire to a new stage of sweet and sour! Liked this tongue-in-cheek entry re contest placement/displacement in it's entirety but especially the fortune cookie prediction that in the future the contest holders appraisal will be barracked for being a bloomer, well worthy of three yellow happy clappy chappies

    • wbiro gold member
      March 5, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      thank you for the three happy clappy chappies, Yvette; I hope I gave you at least three smirky silly smilies...

      • Yvette Champ gold member
        March 5, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        Indeed, you performed a triple triumph for I had at least a trio of smirky, silly smiles!

1 - 10 of 10