I wandered solitary ways
between the river and the hills,
when all at once I spied a craze
of fashionable laffodils;
beside the water, there they stood,
congregating by the wood.
Like violets in a springy lawn
or leaves of mighty chestnut trees,
the moneyed class's idle spawn,
they gathered there to shoot the breeze;
a hundred or a thousand there,
all waving hands and heating air.
The river sparkled there, it danced;
but they out-glinted sunlit waves:
their bodies surgic'ly enhanced,
and honest work all left to slaves,
I gazed—and gazed—their diamonds shone;
what wealth, the show I looked upon.
Although I never found out why
they gathered there in river wood,
they flash upon my inward eye
with lights the ancients understood;
consumption pleases as it kills,
and uses up the laffodils.
Author notes
http://oldpoetry.com/opoem/2902-William-Wordsworth-The-Daffodils
A contest entry
- Parodies (serious or satirical) #62 by Winklings.
3970 points, ended April 6, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think.
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
-
I've been there; seen that ...
and some cheeky pink legs absorbing the sun ... which was never Wordsworth's pleasure. But, there.
This is, in fact, a tight satire, making much use of Wordsworth's poem to your advantage:"The river sparkled there, it danced;
but they out-glinted sunlit waves:
their bodies surgic'ly enhanced,
and honest work all left to slaves,
I gazed—and gazed—their diamonds shone;
what wealth, the show I looked upon."
Yes, this is my favourite stanza of yours but do not ask why.
A very catchy title. Your humour is well-honed.
Lyndon of the Winklings.
-
I might also add ...
that the final lines are very apropos. Good job here. -
I enjoyed reading this you kept to the origional rythum quite well and stayed on point with the topic well done
-
Yes. ;)
I believe you've nailed the "ebb and flow" of the original very well.
-
Very nice. It steers a pleasant parallel to the original with a charming inventiveness.
-
That's inventive and funny and true! A comment on society. The laffodils are crowding out Wordsworth's daffodils.
-
superb
superbly written. I read the original out loud first, then read yours. the ebb and flow of both are near exact. you have nailed it . your topic choice is excellent as well and it works well for the topic choice of the original. good luck in the contest...peace Terry
-
-
Thanks very much for approval and applause, Terry. There are many laffodils around here.
The form was not that difficult, I have been practicing. Best of luck to you!
-
-
Spot on target.
-
-
Thank you Mairi.
-
-
I love it! Superb! Damn I hate that sort of review, but too busy grinning to do it in depth.
-
-
Dear Jeff, thanks for your praise and applause, though I could have waited for a review such as you like. Just pulling your leg, I'm grateful for the reading and approval.
-
-
I provide legs for pulling as a service, we must all do our part.
-
-
-
beat me or blame me, but I have no idea who willie wordsworth is ... shame on me ...
I am so ignorant, I know, but the business school library didn't have many poetry books really ...
but like this I am like an innocent child when I read a poem, loving it for what it is and not to what it compares ...
and I love this poem here, margaret ...
marion
-
-
thanks very much Marion.
-
-
Nice parody. There's a lot of truth in it. The present Lake District daffodils are apparently mostly civilised introductions since the wild ones of Willie Wordsworth's time. At this time of year, with Easter on the horizon, the Lake District is one big traffic jam. I don't think Wordsworth would recognise it. I'm very fond of the original - though Wordsworth does cry out to be parodied - Lewis Carroll was merciless with him. I'm glad you kept "the inward eye, which is the bliss of solitude." Solitude's a rare thing nowadays, though I'm just back from Skye, and there's still plenty of it there.
-
-
Thank you very much, Keith, these are welcome words from a skilled writer of parodies.
-
-
You executed this so well, that I wouldn't know the original from the other lol...The rhythm and rhyming was fluid and very well done, the way you incorporated nature with society was fantastic.Good luck in the contest
-
-
Thank you wakingdevil. I'm happy you enjoyed it.
-
-
Dear Sweetpea,
What a beautiful display of laffodils and it is strange to see them growing near the river, but they look very pretty. This is such a fun write and a great parody on Wordsworth "The Daffodils"
Love Joan
-
-
Thank you Joan. Some things the laffodils do are senseless - but they are so pretty doing them!
-
-
Imagine, a poem to outworth Wordsworth!
From a poem we had to memorize while I was in school --I doubt it's done anymore--and remember still better than I do my own... we get a poem that emerges as a piece of incisive social comment!
It begins gently, so we do not go away. My first clue: "fashionable laffodils!" All fun and games, by "the pick of upper classes' spawn?" Right! Bejewelled, "their bodies surgic'ly enhanced,
and honest work all left to slaves,
I gazed—and gazed—their diamonds shone;
what wealth, the show I looked upon" !!
Supremely satisfying, the final couplet's undeniable truth:
"consumption pleases as it kills,
and uses up the laffodils,"
which explains why none of us have ever seen laffodils anymore!
Superstuff, M!
Terry
-
-
Thank you Terry, I'm happy you enjoyed! I didn't have to memorize this poem, but heard from many who did. That makes this poem perfect bait for a parody. There is a class of people who flaunt their wealth, but they are all young, where are the old ones? Know better, or dead?? Daffodils last only a short season. Best of luck to you, too.
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 23 of 23
