To the smartest contest holder...ever!
Wow, I won!? ME!! Whoa, I'm the best *dances* yeah, go me, go me. Ok well it was to be expected really, I mean it was no contest against the other entry. My poem 'The Life And Loves Of Cable TV' offered so much to the everyday person, and not just for the day...no I went all out and covered a weeks worth of fun! I would like to thank the local TV guides, without them my piece would have been fiction. They were able to produce all the facts I needed to pen this obvious masterpiece. I have to say my favourite part was...
9.00pm
The Evening News.
9.30pm
Film; The Blues.
My commiserations got to the loser, who bitterly slandered my golden poem, sorry kid...you're crap! *seven year old begins to sob* Thank you so much for my trophy. My life has changed so much, I now get dressed and have a wash...everyday! Yes, I know it is a lot of work but so worth it. *grabs cup and starts kissing it* Until next time....
To the obvious illiterate!
How dare you not pick my piece for the gold! You wouldn't know a good write if it smacked you in the face...and that can be arranged! I have been writing 4 days now and my pieces are legendary. Unlike that 'Shakespearian sonnet' you picked, what sort of dumb name is that anyway? How could the lines...
b'twat glomery shins,
yukka puking wins
snoggin faces off,
and slurpin troughs
not have melted your heart....it must be shrivelled with the poison from reading crap and thinking it's good! Beware seeing me in the street...I will boil your useless eyeballs and put them on strings so my cats can play with them! You have been warned.....
Author notes
Prompt; Dear Contest Holder,
A contest entry
- Dear Contest Holder , Contest by galfalfa.
525 points, ended March 20, 2008, 12 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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oozes with the bubbly spirit and deadly charm we all aspire to... luv the shakespearean images...
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that is very nice work indeed
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b'twat glomery shins,
yukka puking wins
snoggin faces off,
and slurpin troughs
WTF? I was actually laughing out loud. I also love the part about the boiled eyeballs. Eww. -
I applaud you. Your poem's apt refection of existence between the channels of 2 and 180 stirred me. What stood out most was
Ch4 2:00AM Paid Programming
Ch6 2:00AM Paid Programming
Ch14 2:00AM Paid Programming
Ch18 2:00AM Paid Programming
Ch20 2:00AM Paid Programming
Ch44 2:00AM Paid Programming
Ch60 2:00AM Paid Programming
It was like you found the heartbeat of the very cable itself... beating... beating.
I think I may cry. If I can stop laughing
Bon Chance!
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Hysterical!!!
Love this...
Laughed out loud as I read,
Darth Vader voice: 'The Bitterness is Strong in this One'.
Great descriptive & extremely humorous narrative with with dark undertones...
Great to see yet another style from you...
Another fantastic write you have here...
Well done!!!
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b'twat glomery shins,
yukka puking wins
snoggin faces off,
and slurpin troughs
.... sigh 
whadda dumb judge, eh?
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LMAO this had me rolling with laughter, loved it!
Love your humour, wicked
thankyou, applause for making me laugh
from start to finish
galfalfa
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Oh my God are we having fun or what!! this is superb!!
scintilating, sharp, smart and snappy (I'm on S's today)and I've soiled myself from reading it
loved it ... loved it...loved it!!!
laurie.
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ROFL
HAHA, this is sure to be a hit in this contest! You've got to be one of the wittiest women alive today 'n you've got some humorous sarcasm!!!! That poor seven year kid 'n woe to the person who doesn't select this as good.
OMG, my sides hurt, ya gotta stop!!!!!
hahahahahaha
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LMAO!!!
Oh you just crack me up with these kinda things!! That was freakin hysterical!!! I love your sarcasm!
Killing me here hahahahaha
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lol... THIS IS AMAZING!... WOW... you've totally cheered me up!... WOW!!!!!!
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lol....loved this! So creative! Love your poem that won "Cable TV"....lol....yeah, I'd seen some picked for wins that cable tv prob. would have been better!...now, that wasn't nice was it?
best wishes in your contest.
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Mum, I love it.. this is so great, I just bookmarked this.. great job on this... love it..I am checking out this contest.. I love the whole, I really do..
fantastic job on this
good luck
kat
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