I came to this world in mind body and soul
With a tale, with a twist, that I taught
To live and to laugh with each other in love
But it it seems some small snipits were easily forgot
The lessons I left and implored you to hear
Were not the the lessons you listened and spread
I tried to teach you to follow from hope and not fear
To reach out with your heart and let go of your head
That each and every one of you are children of love
Children of trust and of faith and divine
Those truths were discarded in favor of false
So you follow your fears and you leave love behind
Your thoughts seem so clustered, with worries and woe
Anger and hatred and judgement of yourselves
You believe that there is punishment for those with different eyes
So in my name you curse them and condemn them to Hell
So let me restate the message I meant
In as few simple words as I can make do
This experience is short, so embrace your potential
Love one another, and love yourselves too
Author notes
This is for a contest where the idea is to immerse yourself (as the author) in the role of a mythological character. I might get some grit for this one, but I decided to write mine as Jesus. Points for thinking outside the box? Anyways, it may or may not fit the contest idea (depending upon the judges opinion) but I like the way it turned out. So I'm Peachy Keen.
A contest entry
- Mythology, (With a Twist!) Contest and Creative Writing Workshop by kareneisenlord.
900 points, ended March 16, 2008, 39 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think?
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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I asked all of you for mythology with a twist, and you really socked it to me! I was very impressed by all of your entries, and many of you came up with some really unique and creative material with a different way of applying and perceiving mythology. It was enjoyable reading and I learned a lot from reading all of your fabulous writes. Because there was such an abundance of excellent entries in this contest, it was difficult to decide which ones would be the final winners. I apologize for taking so long to judge. Ultimately, I went with the material that impressed me and stuck with me the most. What had the greatest influence, insight, oversight, ambience and applied the myth/story in a thought-provoking and interesting way. The entries that were still playing through my mind and echoing with fond recollection, long after first reading them, are the ones that I finally decided upon as the winners. Objectivity in judging this contest was not my goal, but how each one of you subjectively influenced and moved me through your write. I re-read all of your writes again before my final judgment and relished it thoroughly. You are all gifted with incredible minds and talent. I wished that I could give more than one trophy in each category because certainly there was more than one that deserved it. All of you deserved an honorable mention, at the very least, and I wished I could do this and more. After the winners, the list is not in order of my favorites but most are in the chronological order as they were entered into the contest. I was glad to comment personally on each one of you. “Heading Towards Hope” - won the gold for me, because it took an uncommon theme in western mythology, deriving the story from eastern mythology, namely Hinduism. The interpretation of this, my favorite Hindu Deity, Ganesh, blew me away, and provided a step forward in my consciousness. I was awed by the profoundness, beauty and humility of this write. While many of your stories moved me deeply, this one actually shifted my consciousness. It contained both meaningful, inspirational and unique applications, written in a purity and sweetness of the heart and soul that is reflected in the words of the poet who wrote it. Gifts of the Faery, Part II I awarded Gifts of the Faery, Part II because it reached deep into my sense of profound honor and respect for Nature and all of Creation. Not only did it express stunning wisdom, but it also reflected an eloquent poetic style of it’s own. It is filled with ancient knowledge and powers that are for the Light and bringing humanity to a higher level of hope for the ultimate transformation of humankind and our Earth Mother! Lemuria's Sacred Contract - Video Slam Not only is this a beautifully written poem but it struck a chord that resonates far within the innermost essence of my being for I have always felt a special connection to Lemuria and long to be reunited with her. This is my hope for all of humanity, for “Lemuria” or the lost continent of Mu, (the motherland), is analogous with Paradise of earth. She was the original motherland of Atlantis and Egypt. They were her colonies. Lemuria sank beneath the ocean in the world‘s last great worldwide cataclysm. Mu existed in the Pacific ocean, and the Pacific islands, Easter Island and the Hawaiian Islands, are all remnants of her. This was over 20,000 years ago. Many believe that she will rise again, at least in the collective heart and soul of all humanity. This poem described my feelings in a way that I could not do much better myself - a twin reflection of my sentiments and my hope for us all of us! The Honorable mentions - I will talk about a few of them. Since I commented on all of your entries, you already know how I reacted to your work, but here are a few of the HM’s that I want to give further “honorable mention to“. I wish that I could do so for all of them, but these stood out the most in my mind. “Kalpa ” won an honorable mention because it reflected an overview of the Cosmos on a grand and astronomical scale. Not only was it eloquently written, but it impressed me with the deeper wisdom and perspective that was reflected therein, by giving one of the most developed and accurate views of the creation of the universe(s) and the dissolution that occurs over and over. It is the Hindu creation myth, that more and more, fits into the most advanced theories of physics and astronomy, (and the Vedic people came to this conclusion thousands of years ago, through spiritual practices!) Orphee's Heartstrings - expressed the pain and suffering of Orpheus so well. wow how in the world did i come up with this??? Very clever imagery and it was refreshingly spontaneous. Sacrifice with Creation - The ancient myth of a god sacrificing himself for the benefit of humanity carried forward to humanity helping humanity! Gasping - Had beautiful imagery and it reflected the tragic fate of both Narcissus and Echo in such a haunting way Lost Messiah - struck a chord with me, because it bravely stated how the most important messages of Jesus have been lost, to love ourselves and one another. I think Jesus is quoted to have said, “…love your neighbor as yourself,” among many other references to love. Another one is, “…love the Lord your God with all your heart…” Lucifer’s Sword - was another really courageous write in that it gave the perspective of the necessity of evil and the role of opposites. Untitled - was fresh and different. I was hoping that someone would write something based on Chinese legend and mythology. It is beautiful, rich, varied and ancient. This was a good job at tackling this creation myth. Poisoned Prophesies - impressed me because it expressed the dilemma of a seer. ..With a flying centaur... An exciting and enchanting poem about a mythological creature with wings taking one everywhere and anywhere in the Universe. The Reflection Looks Back - Was a wonderful interpretation of the Narcissus Myth. Star Garden - Thought-provoking with a lovely play on words. Nyquil Dreams - Because who is to say what is the true reality? "Plus DOCS changent..." - Another great play and twist on the age-old Cinderella story, told from the view point of the Fairy God Mother. Very clever and fun! Rick Rubens, Prometheus - I liked this one because it was clever and portrays modern day fire-givers. I could go on and on - and I wish that I could recap all of the entries which I have read over and relished. You were all great and like I said, you all deserved a trophy; every one of you! Thank you for putting all of your creative minds here in the contest for me to savor. All of you is exquisitely and uniquely talented. Keep writing and thinking because not only are you people good poets, many of you are amazing philosophers as well. That means, that you are seekers of the truth. That is what a philosopher does. Blessings!
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I bow to the god of poetry!
I'd give you some of those clappy things but they give me the creeps! This poem expresses exactly why i parted from the church. I have no issues with christ but plenty issues with christians. They have destroyed his message completely. This poem is pure genius! -
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You flatter me beyond words. Thank you so much for your compliment. This is a subject pretty close to me.
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I like it alot. Very ingenious and YES! This is what I am looking for. You are my hero in that you captured well the exploitation of this Gift of God, this wondrous Avatar, who chose to come into the world as God manifest in love and compassion, with a simple message - to love one another and love ourselves- and not to live in fear.
Exquisite and profoundly true. How He was exploited - His teachings - twisted and misused for the corrupt and greedy. I am not saying that the Church is entirely this way, for nothing is either totally good or bad. In fact, the Church does a lot of good. However, one only needs to look in the not-too-distant past of the history of the Church (s) to see the corruption.
All things in this world are subject to corruption, and because there is some corruption, doesn't disqualify the goodness. I really loved the point that you made in your poem, for it is so obvious yet forgotten - Love is God, Love is Divine, Love is Light. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I liked how you put yourself in the shoes of Jesus. There is nothing wrong with that. He was showing us what we are all capable of. Christ Consiousness! The title is definitely a good one; "LOST Messiah" Bless you!
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This is just a hunch, but are you involved with Unity at all? I've never heard anyone outside of Unity reference the "Christ Consciousness" before.
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No, it goes back way further than them. It is based on Celtic Christian and Rosicrusian beliefs. That is where I first heard of the concept many years ago, before the Church of Unity even existed. I see this sort of thing over and over - old, profound truths being claimed as new. But hey, if they are doing good, so what. I just like credit where it is due. The Celts and Rosicrusians probably got it from somewhere else too!
I tend to be eclectic myself, and do not affiliate myself with any one Church or even religion, for that matter. I view Jesus as the Divine manifested here on earth to move humanity toward a higher consciousness, but, sadly, like you express in your poem, this isn't always the case. Thank you for inquiring. -
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Well let me preface by saying that I am not a member of any Unity Church, as even the less crappy religious institutions are still institutions and so by nature fight change and serve themselves. So I choose to follow my spiritual path on my own, with the freedom to change and evolve my beliefs.
That said, I think it is only fair to say that Unity was founded in the late 1800s, so its not something I'd call recent (although obviously it only a few generations old, it is now a product of the "New Age") Most of Unity's concepts are borrowed from other institutions, but they are built on the idea of "the power of positive prayer/affirmation" which I do believe in. They still hold fairly strong ties to traditional Christianity though, which in my mind is their biggest flaw.
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