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Teardrops

Without her father
This little girl has lots of bother
She has emotional problems
We can all see
from a part of her family
the teardrops keep flowing
the love keeps growing
She remembers the time
Fishing they went
In the boat the neighbor lent
Saw the ducks and the geese
the fish they caught they did release
She chased a butterfly with him one day
that has a lot to say
a good father, he was trying to be
until he gave his life for his country
and helped his little girl be free
looking at the birds
sharing touching words
about the nature they saw
her daddy was not a flaw
and then she lost him that day
when their country took him away
she tries to remember the good times they had
the camping trips she took with her dad
they will be together again some day
then in heaven they can play

Author notes

X Empathic Rose X
let me be your AP cousin

my husband is in the ARmy
contest: simple picture promt
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Comments

1 - 16 of 16

  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    March 10, 2008

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    This is such a sad piece, but very beautiful indeed. I think it's important to remember the special times we had with our relatives, I know that I do. Dad and I don't bond much these days, so its nice to remember our old trips out and singing in the car. This is reminisant, but in a pleasant and yet saddening way.


  • Sandra R Reynolds gold member
    March 9, 2008
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    Very good write prayers are there for you and your husband.


  • Tercil gold member
    March 7, 2008

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    I think this is very sad, but if the gent is now in the army, let's not be too harsh, and look towards bette times, sadly, this is a truth which cannot even be envisaged, as it has treasured those who have sadly been taken from our clutches, those who will read this be reminded. I have no other words to say, but heart wrenching scenarios, I cannot say are in the eyes of politicians. Good effort in explaining more to us the understanding of such traumas, . Deeply sad to those left behind.


  • SomeonesToySoldier gold member
    March 7, 2008

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    Its a great poem. I really feel for the families that have had to deal with losing loved ones overseas. Thanks for sharing this poem with me.


  • Lancashire Lad
    March 7, 2008
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    Brill

    wow that was so sentimental and touchin. if this is about u im really sorry x


  • jellylovesu
    March 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this poem is very touching.you are a very very good writer and you should keep up the good work. i am giving you a mential hug because you have been threw alot. i wish you and your family good wishes and good luck.


  • creationsfromheart
    March 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    again this is another write that is so heartfelt and full of emotion you have a talent for touching writes from ones heart, you will grow more and more by these writes and I am sure will help others as well, keep spinning the quill.


  • crazziladi
    March 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very emotional. I will say a prayer for your husband and your lives together that so this will not happen to your family or any other for that matter. my daughter married her marine in Dec and I can feel your pain but keep your faith and believe that the lord can and will protect him God bless


  • LotusRyda
    March 5, 2008
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    this is very good

  • soulless1
    March 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    nice

    you have every right to be proud thats an amazing and touching poem and i love the rythme of it amazing write lol will deffiently read more of your work

  • Stephicans
    March 5, 2008

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    wow... this was amazing!!! It left me speechless... keep up the great work!!!


  • Candyknife gold member
    March 5, 2008

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    hmm

    the concept is sweet has lots of heart and is quite nicely expressed .
    as for the poem the flow was a little off and sounded a bit forced.
    but nice write


  • UnManned4Ever
    March 5, 2008

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    wow good poem and very touching. Is this about your father? This is really well written. I like it alot. Keep up the good work and keep the ink a flowing.


  • not-loved-enough
    March 5, 2008
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    i love it... its so good.


  • StarLightResurrects
    March 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    i love the feeling its only the rhyme that i don't really like. I love how you used the teardrops in the background of the picture to create memories. thank you for entering and good luck.


  • ParadiseSeeker
    March 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    wow

    this is very heartbreaking...the rhyme sceme could use just a little work, but its still a very well writen peice. ...this needs to be applauded, it just has to be. if not for how well its writen, then on general principaLS. sorry, accidental caps lock...great write. stay strong!

1 - 16 of 16