This poem's a nightmare to young ones. An omen of whats to come. my opus as I recall the slums, its so evident by the way that we talk, evidence that this world stole our own innocence, praying to God; appealing to his preeminince, save us from the sewers we livin in, friends dying, I just feel like giving in, my pen's my promise but the world's a hinderance, no jobs, no hope for simple men, no rest for the weary or the early graves that they send us in,
We need rufuge from the blues, gotta be heaven sent to survive this hell. I haven't seen heaven since, my pillow's a pillar of pain so hideous, yet its the altar where I find replinishment, where I regain strength after the struggle has diminished it, somehow I'll fight to finish it, to rebel in an uphill battle, resources so limited, to exceed the courses of our nemesis, could we impale the orifice of ignorance, or do we bleed the death dealt by our enemies.
A contest entry
- jfhljf by Makinbettachoices.
600 points, ended March 28, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Good write with an interesting style. Paints a very dark and depressing picture of the world in general and a soulful struggle to exist. Nice work.
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Intriguing! As if life isn't hard enough, we have people who threaten the existence of others, forcing them into a sittuation were they have to compromise soul to deal with such ignorance... hatred. People who project hatred, hate themselves, like everything else in their lives
they externalise it unable to face up to who they really are, projecting their suffering onto others in the form of fear and violence, even targeting innocence in their quest to deny self. These are animilistic individuals who live by a heirarchy of dominance... like dogs if they arn't controlling, alpha male they p**s on everything they can. Its unfortunate that we as descent individuals have to learn to survive such ignorance. This is really powerful deep and dark. You have done a great job in expressing some of the worries humanity has to suffer. Very poetic!
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INTERSETING LOVE BUT THIS WRITE WAS REALLY, REALLY GOOD
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As I was reading I fell into a natural Rap rhythm with the flow of your words, which is unusual because I'm not a fan of that style of music or writing. I think you have done very well in getting your point across. Before reading I only quickly looked at your Author Page and haven't read any of your other work so as not to influence my appreciation of this one. I really did enjoy reading it. Thank you for sending me the link.
Margaret
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