To my ex-boyfriend: On Irony.

I once had a boyfriend,
Who broke up with me.
I was left with the unique yet universal sensation
Of hating someone while loving them at the same time,
Wanting to both push them away, and hold them so tightly
That I could never let go.

To some people, this feeling
Is ironic.

But today,
I signed onto myspace,
And said ex-boyfriend had left a video plea
To all of his friends.

Since me, he has accrued his own
Ex-boyfriend who left him
High and dry.

And now, now he’s writing a song,
A song about the irony of
the Anger and the Longing
that comes with a breakup,
where you want to never see the person again,
but never want them to go.

Add to the mix that his request
Was to ask all of us for words,
Lines, and phrases for his song
That would describe such irony,
And THAT, to me,
Is Ironic.

My ex, who I love and hate,
Wants words that he can use
To describe his feelings for someone else,
Who he both loves and hates.

But, who am I to turn down a friend’s call for help?

So, here we go:

I love you so much I may have to destroy you.

I’ll hate you if you stick around,
But I’ll hate you more if you leave.

I want to push you off a cliff,
And then be waiting at the bottom to pick up the pieces.

I want to give you the most deadly antidote in existence.

Here’s your Valentine’s Day Bomb. Enjoy.

You’re so self-centered,
I’ve actually gone into orbit around you.

You’re the world’s most beautiful chord,
Stuck into the wrong part of the progression.

You’re like getting a paper cut from a love letter.

I want you to be happy all your days,
But I want you to cry every night.

I want to shake you like a can of soda and try to chug you.

I just want to smack you across the face and go,
“Dammit! I love you, you big idiot!”




I want to break you in the softest way possible.



But what to me might be the perfect image
to take away from this whole fiasco,
is him, a poet
writing a song for a man with no ears to hear,
and me, a singer,
writing a poem for a man with no eyes to see.