Marital Pastimes and Neighbours.
Oh, I can write ‘most anything
I don’t need any Muse.
I only need a damn good feed
and another glass of booze.
Of course I need to have some time
while Hinemoa’s out,
so I can work on words and rhyme
and what to write about.
Whenever Hinemoa’s at home
she drags me straight to bed
and what she does drives any poem
completely from my head.
and even when she’s well away,
though I’m not in her arms,
I swear I’m haunted night and day
by visions of her charms.
Her dusky breasts so proud and pert,
her hips so finely flexed
and, underneath her flaxen skirt,
her noticeable sex.
If I showed you a pic you’d laugh
and Mods would say it’s rude,
for nearly every photograph
depicts her in the nude.
The thing is, Hine wants ‘it’ more,
whenever we are able -
in bed, on floor, against a door,
or on the kitchen table.
The neighbours say we’re maniacs -
they even called the Bobby
who questioned us and noted facts
about our favourite hobby.
He said it’s legal done inside
with all the curtains drawn
but we should make attempt to hide
when outside on the lawn.
The neighbours watch us like an eagle.
So do their teenage boys
and, even though it’s not illegal,
complain about our noise!
Well, Hine I admit, can moan
and sometimes scream out loud,
but only when we’re quite alone
and never in a crowd.
Those neighbours are an awful lot
who party every night
with drinking, laughing, smoking pot,
till nearly broad daylight.
Their barking dogs we just endure,
and all their unmown grass;
the stink of rotting fowl manure -
for months we’ve let it pass.
We don’t report the cannabis
that out the back they’ve grown,
so why call in the cops like this
when Hine starts to moan?
I’ve let my random thoughts take wing
while Hinemoa’s out
but can’t think of a single thing
that I might write about.
If you’re like me, I’m sure you’ll find
that too much sex can blow your mind!!
Heathcote Giffen, March 4th.2008.
Author notes
I reckon I'll be in enough trouble as it is when Hine gets home!
A contest entry
- HUGUENAUTIES CONTEST # 30 FOR HUGH WYLES FAVOURITES GROUP ONLY by huguenauties.
750 points, ended March 24, 2008, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Congrats Heath
for receiving a HM.
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My dear Heathcote,
For this belated observation
I hope that I may be forgiven.
I'm suffering acute stagnation
although by conscience lately driven.
While you and Hine've been away
we've had, in rather quick succession,
three lots of visitors to stay,
resulting in prolonged digression.
However, now I've read your entry,
I think activities in bed
amongst well-educated gentry
are often better left unsaid!
What happens between man and wife
is best considered private life.
Having said that, Your poem is technically OK so I applaud it and wish you good luck in the voting.
Hugh (R.)
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I think everyone complains about their neighbours, there is always something not quite right with them. Beaut poem, left me speechless. Good luck!
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This should make me blush but not this old lady.. I've seen it all, heard it all and done it all... ummm... I should replace all of thoseseen, heard, and done with see, hear and do.. but then I'm a little more subtle than you are
Good luck in the contest
Dee
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Wow! You're certainly not at a loss for words when it comes to Hinemoa! I really enjoyed your well-written poem about your obsession with your wife. Who needs those other things in life? (Your neighbors are having too much fun!) It's a good thing for them you're too distracted to complain. If your honeymoon is ever over, I think some things will change.
<3 Maureen
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OHHH geez Heath, I really think you're in trouble now with Hine. Ohhh my goodness I'd hate to be in your shoes.
I enjoyed your poem though.
Love Jen
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Holy Moly Heath!
Geez, tell the world about our private life why don't you! And you sure are in a lot of trouble now! Looks like I get the whip out! I KNOW how much you like THAT!
Those pesky neighbours are a menace that's for sure. You'd think we could do what we like in our own home but NOOOO those young boys have to peek through the curtains at what we're doing. But I must admit your poem made me laugh.
Your wife
Hine.
PS. I'm on my way home now so your rest is over.
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It's vile and rude and pornographic...I'm offended by such licentious lines depicting such moral depravity...have you no respect for the sanctity of marriage? Why, if I were a Mod on this site (and thank your lascivious behind I am not!) I would hoist you by your own petard and let the estimable women of AP spank you on your behind! You'd like that wouldn't you...depraved monster.
What is a petard by the way? ...I just looked it up, that old saying doesn't make sense...make believe I said something else...but I'm still aghast at your admitted perversions!
Yemassee,
Self-appointed Castle Morality Monitor
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"Must be nice" is all that I can say in the midst of my giggles. A finely crafted poem, and if it's rude, it's all in the mind of the reader!
Terry
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Dear Heath, Ohh you poor man, you must be completely worn out from Hine. But I reckon you love having such a healthy virile Sheila to pamper you.
This poem gave me a fit of the giggles. And you reckon you had nothing to write about? HAHAHA
Thanks for entering our first monthly contest and good luck in the voting.
Love AJ
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Blow Heathcote blow! This one was fun, funny and gets the motor running. Hurry home Hinemoa I really like this one. Thanks much. **The thing is, Hine wants ‘it’ more,
whenever we are able -
in bed, on floor, against a door,
or on the kitchen table.
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