| High School... forever |  | |
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Author notes
Happy Birthday, Ryan, I think I found the perfect place for this, since the notion came up critiquing that piece of yours... so I guess this is more like a present than a wish...
In a list
A contest entry
- Happy Birthday Ryno :) by Cupcrazy.
875 points, ended March 12, 2008, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Oh something smells fishy here.. and I believe its a sardine can full of poetic perfection!!! High School
never looked so vivid, in your face and right on the mark! of course its been so long since I was is High School that I've double looped it and am remembering it
better that it was... this happens as you age!
WOW I just realized next year 2009 will be my 30th (arg) reunion.. that is if my senior year held them..
they didn't give a shit then and they don't now.
thanks for the trip down memory lane!!
laurie
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Yes, that brings to mind a task- list all the people from High School that you are still trying to retroactively impress... remembering gets harder as the decades pile up...!
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I liked the visulaization of the sardine can. Very creative.
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Impressive
Loved the straight forward language, the images of sardine cans, passion, jock itch, and the hot heavy intenseness of relationships. You hit the nail on the head. I think if you eliminate "trying" at the end, you say more by being "doomed to impress" the memories of high school or your life then. I like that idea of never being able to live up to what your perceived potential was in high school. That is powerfully depressing and, sadly, true for many! I think that should be the focus of this or another poem, although this one conjurs all of those ideas...the "trying" word distracts from the clarity, in my understanding, anyway, of the theme. I may be off base. If you like original folk/rock music with an ecological/apocalyptic theme, check out my music at www.nakedadam.net
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thanks much, was still wrestling with the part you mentioned, endeavoring to have both 'doomed' and 'trying', since we never actually succeed...!
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and yes, I'll check out your music... hmmm... myspace music, didn't know about that one... reminds me of the old mp3.com, and the shop reminds me of an old 'cafe' something or other merchandising site...
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Cute
A lovely little ride down memory lane.
Reflecting on a time when we knew nearly
nothing but thought we had all the answers.
Now we look back in the mirror of life
and see clearly just how good it was then. -
love the background. your words are so true. love the poem.
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-literally dies-
This has to be my favourite metaphor ever!! And yes, I still remember it
Oh my oh my oh my. What am I to do with this piece. The wonders!
I should post it around the school on flyers and hand it out and see what people have to say
Well. This is an amazing smile for my birthday (TOMORROW). So it pretty much made me even more pumped
Sick!!!!!!! (in slang). LOVED IT.
Thanks for the million pumps of laughter.
PS: Love the sardine cans pic
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