All your life you've been playing at something,
Something that you thought really didn't mean nothing,
Nothing but a way for you to get what you want,
But wanting what you got came with something you don't,
Now all your plans are going up in smoke,
Built too high on all the backs you broke,
Stolen from the kindness of those who trusted...
And I'm just the bitch to feed you some justice ;
Your lies all come too easy, you sell yourself so cheap,
You hide behind the illusion, that no one could possibly see,
Now ask yourself the reason
Why you're so quick to deceive,
I don't understand your confusion,
When it seems so simple to me,
You are so empty and plastic, you really have nothing else,
They all know what you're made of
They're just too docile to tell,
Well I don't have that problem
See I've never been that weak,
You think you're safe in that ivory tower
But your just another lemming to me ;
So vilify me if it makes you feel better,
It won't change the facts of the matter,
Expose my soul to the brightest spotlight,
There's no fear here...I've got nothing to hide,
No fear here because I've got nothing to hide ;
Maybe you're shocked by the things I say,
Deny the fact but it wont go away,
What goes around...comes down,
I spit the venom of the truth in your face,
It sours in my mouth but I love the taste
And it makes a beautiful sound,
You set the tone and the rules of this game,
If you were scared of getting caught you should've never played,
It's time to pay the piper now,
I'll drop your mask and reveal your shame,
And if it's all that ugly you've got yourself to blame,
In this river of venom you'll drown ;
All your life you've been fake and pathetic,
Pathetic to the core, abusive and wretched,
Wretched like a beast, you stink of the dead,
Dead to the world and the friends you've bled,
All your life you've used and betrayed,
Betrayed everyone's trust, with the lust you crave,
You crave attention like a brat, spoiled rotten and vain,
Vain like a parasite who sees us all as blind prey,
But now all your lies are coming back to haunt you,
All your mistakes are coming home to taunt you,
And here's a little secret someone should've taught you,
All the pain you cause will eventually cost you...
Every single thing that you thought it bought you ;
So demonize me if it makes you feel better,
It won't ever change the facts of the matter,
Expose my soul to a righteous light,
There's no fear here...because I've got nothing to hide,
No fear here...I've got nothing to hide ;
Maybe you're shocked by the things I say,
Deny the fact but it wont go away,
What goes around...is coming down,
I spit the venom of the truth in your face,
It sours in my mouth but I love the taste...
And I love that beautiful sound,
You set the tone and the rules of this game,
If you were scared of getting caught you should've never played,
It's time to pay the piper now,
I'll drop your mask and reveal your shame,
And if it's all that ugly,
You got yourself to blame,
In this river of my venom…
You'll drown :
Author notes
What do i like? Talking this way to a liar, it makes me smile.
A contest entry
- Get Mad by RunningFree.
525 points, ended March 10, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Enemies With Friendly Faces by Dead Hair.
525 points, ended April 21, 2008, 34 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Muses for the masses (options galore) by Goldfist.
500 points, ended March 28, 2008, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - WHAT DO YOU LIKE by Elenaliz.
1000 points, ended March 20, 2008, 25 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rhyming Poetry Contest by Heavens Child.
800 points, ended April 29, 2008, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Songs by the evil angel.
525 points, ended May 15, 2008, 22 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Every Word On YOUR Stone by aeroheadv1.
700 points, ended May 30, 2008, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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METAL.
First of all, I'd like to thank you for entering my first contest! This piece is soooooo in your face! Reminds me of something GNR would perform someday....
Very nicely done, I can see why you've had so much success with this. Good luck in the contest.
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Thanks much, always an honor. Yeah A lot of people get a "rap" take from this piece which always amazed me, but as a lyricist I leave it to the reader to "feel"...I of course am deeply into Riot Gyrrl/Boi, Grundge and Hard classic Metal music. This piece was written for Foo Fighters. SO yeah when I saw your contest I've always known Axl could do this song justice both vocally and Attitude wise.
Thanks again for your time.
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This is a good write. I would encourage you to develope your talents further. There are some awkward wordings that you might want to look over again. Sadly, most of the people in the world are liars, and I encourage you for broadcasting your support for the truth. This is a very personal song, which I love about it. Personal songs make you feel connected to them in a way that poems can't accomplish as easily, because the rythym of the songs seem to make us unified and agree with it so easily. Very well written. It speaks the truth we don't like to hear, and therefore I applaud your bravery.
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Venom indeed! This is an excellent write. I think all of us have felt this way at one time. Best wishes and thank you for entering.
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Thanks much for your time and consideration. Always feels good to see another artist find something of value in a piece.
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I love it, all the things I want desperately to say, but won't because I'm too politically correct.
I know, I should definitely take this as an example. So should a lot of people.
On another note, this was penned exceptionally well! Your word choice was brilliant, as was the flow of this.
Well done!
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oops.. i meant trophy, and rhythm.. sorries... typos kill me. Hmm, by the way.. is this a rap? to be honest when i first opened it. i looked at the length, and was a bout to get out. but then something caught me so i satyed, ad it went by real quick.. great job agai
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This piece was actually written to the riffs and melodies of "All My Life" by the Foo Fighters. If you look up the song on youtube you can almost sing right along as far as the rythum goes. But everyone sees it as Rap. Which surprised me but that's fine, I write lyrics and leave it to the reader to add the music. I am only always pleased they get something out of it and enjoy it.
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wow, this is amazing, vongrats on the trophy, i love the whythm its stuning, and it works so much for the poem, makes it great. love it. -eleno
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I love this poem, it flowedso smoothly, like a rap and I'm not even sure if that is what it was supposed to be. I'm not sure if you meant to rhymn you with you that many times but I have to say, it really worked and I have never liked when people did something like that. I wasn't even going to read this poem because it was so long and looked like a story, but I read the first line and couldn't stop because, before I knew it, I was threw with the entire thing. I hope you do well in the contest, because you do deserve it. Great job and good luck.
Hugs and Kisses,
Tiphanie -
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Thanks so much, I think I understand how decieving this piece seems to be as far as length. At first it seems so long but it seems the flow picks up speed on the "mind's tounge" and sort of races through to the end.. At least that's what I've been told. I appreciate your time and thanks again for the feedback.
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This poem shows such amazing strength. I like how you use anger to assert yourself while calling out the other person. I wish it didn't end with:
"In this river of my venom…
You'll drown :"
I would have much rather preferred for that person to drown in their own venom. There is something about it that makes you seem so much stronger. That is just my preference.
I like the style that you use of last word, first word in the lines. It flows so well. Thank you for entering into my contest. -
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Thanks so much, I appreciate your time and input always helps a great deal.
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wow this is so powerful,i really love the style. as i read i was hearing it as a smart,deep rap song,not one of those cheap shake yo ass look at my rims songs but in a category with mos def or commonor talib qwalie or gang starr.not like their music,but like the quality of their music,high quality,saying so much.but its probably not meant to be a rap right?well i cant say anything bad about this at all,i really love every line,the style,the content,the title,everything.and i wasnt even in the mood for somthing so long im kinda tired but i was excited to see someone enterd so soon and this poems awesomeness sucked me in.it reminds me of someone i know.is this about a junkie?or is this just a prodct of your imagination?
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Thanks so much, I'm honored you found it worthy. I have heard the "militant rap" association before, even though it was written to a Riotboi/Riotgyrrl rock style. I'm thrilled when anyone finds something in a piece though and leave it to their pleasure to add whatever music they feel inside. It wasn't written about a single person, but more a "type" of person, that being sociopathic liars/users (i'm sure alot of junkies would qualify)
Thanks again.
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cool.
This could almost be a song. i can easily visualize someone screaming this into a microphone. Thanks for entering and good luck with the contest. -
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Thanks again, yes this piece was written for the Foo Fighters, to the riffs and flow of "All My Life".
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