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Shamed

His eyes pierce my soul
as dawn rises with regret
and pale flesh seeks refuge
in a denim shirt soaked
in the stench of lusting liquor.



Author notes

Prompt: picture 'Distance' by: Glitterdarkstar www.deviantart.com

http://allpoetry.com/contest/2394251

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • Solo Wisp gold member
    March 7, 2008

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    Enjoy your take on the prompt. Seems you've taken the soul of this woman and written emotion that oozes out of her skin.

    Steve


  • LadyLavender gold member
    March 5, 2008
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    Now this is soaked in talent! Exceptional, with depth and emotion


  • penman gold member
    March 5, 2008
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    Wonderful

    Terrific write for the theme and picture. So very well done. Best of luck in the contest.


  • MJ Donnelly gold member
    March 4, 2008

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    A poignant depiction of the morning after, when stark reality bites you right in the ass, and, that stench never quite leaves you. I wonderful intrinsic heart's labor.


    mj.


  • Desire gold member
    March 4, 2008

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    Oh My!!

    Oy
    Now this brings forth Steam and frosts the psyche with sensuality~
    One can certainly feel inebriated with Lust's Liquor
    but the morning after~
    the touch settles~ and leaves a print

    Marvelous take on the prompt!!
    Thank You for sharing Your Talente and Spirit~
    Many blessings to You in the contest Sweet Soul
    Best wishes too
    and much love~ Desire~*~


  • poetryality silver member
    March 4, 2008

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    There is a tone of haunting here. My mind falls to the thought of her being sexually abused by his drunkenness. How hurtful that is. There is an awful lot of power in this poem, and your ability to draw the reader into your world, before and after...

    An excellent take on the prompt. I too felt; "as dawn rises with regret" from the image. It seems you picked up the emotions of the subject in the art work exceedingly well. Very perceptive, I think!

    The best to you in the contest.



    Much Love & Respect ♥

    Renee


  • Peteskid gold member
    March 4, 2008

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    bitter and sweet, sweat from an onion, life is not all about unicorns and faeries...so very nicely done here...PK


  • luna-midnight gold member
    March 4, 2008

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    great write,intresting take on the pormpt, i like it. and it has great descriptions and a nice flow, good luck in the contest!
    take care
    stephanie =)


  • Karsis
    March 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    The link doesn't go to the picture,
    But either way, this is good.
    Well done.

    -Saint

1 - 9 of 9