the trash was piled
six (6 6 6 ) feet deep
in the gutter;;
*glitter*
was oozing
from the wound.
the white-out couldn’t
hide the mistakes—
society [glam]
[[[slammed]]]
its way
into this [sham]
a life over before it [began]
when your {tears}
traced eyeliner {smears}
so the camera could keep on //rolling//
(//roll// that cigarette, baby—
the crowd is eating it up)
like the fishnets,
.broken.teens.
playing
.bad.girls.
playing
.this.solves.everything.
with the pills
~ and wanting to reach the stars
in smoke ring
spaceships ~
cancer addiction
rubble
distortion;;
((scars))
can you say
¿ .external.coping.mechanism. ?
we drank liquor to
douse the sickness,
and ~drowned~ in
.candy.flavored.vomit.
eating candy
<3 hearts <3
with l o v e
crossed out in
marker
scratched out with a
knife
- - if you –push— harder - -
then
this {blister}’s bursting,
{infection}’s getting worse.
you're sober now;;
.can.you.see.
what your world has become?
Author notes
Contest poem...
Option 5: Dirty Pretty.
Option 2: Wordbank. words: gutter, glitter, white-out, eyeliner, cigarette, broken, fishnets, pills, addiction, cope (coping), liquor, candy, marker, knife, infection (exactly 15)
name: Queen of Anonymity
In a list
A contest entry
- --Happiness & Pillz-- by Disturbedmess.
600 points, ended March 27, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments?
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Love it. So much.
-
there were some really great metaphores in their. they were original.
but although it had a good message behind it, it was buried deep down in their behind random words and phrases.
that's all the poem really seemed like to me, random words put in no specific order.
otherwise, good job.
keep on writing and don't give up! :]] -
i like that question at the end....it adds something to the poem, i really dont know how to describe, but its good. keep up the good work and thanks for entering
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WOW, so this is dirty pretty...I have been wondering what it was for a while
Ok newbie shining through. A great piece, I really enjoyed it. You have strong messages smoothly woven in but kept it subtle. The word bank is superbly done. Great job here, best of luck in the contest 
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i love the message behind it all. i love the ending mostly because its clean and straighforward. there were some lines i loved with good metaphors and originality and some that just sounded over played and used to much. over all it was really great
<3
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