And look where we are again,staring up at
thees shooting stars.And the beating feeling
under my ribs is making me s.w.e.a.t out all
of the [maybes] I made myself dare to wish
you might say to me,all while we can still
hear the pay by hour lovers in cars with
rusted sides and liars in the backseat.
[kind of like us?]
Im really coming to terms that I just
might not have control of this,all ofthees
promises crashing and burning through my
skin like the stars in my sunset sky.your hand's
feels cold,like the night i found you with the needle
in your blemished and bruised arm,
paint me in all of your pretty
words one last time and hold me tighter than
your lies that keep you in our [fucked] love.
And how much acetaminophen and naproxen do I
have to push past my swelled up gag reflux to
let you know that this isnt all okay,and that
maybe next time you want me to smile and [eat],
it would mean more if you actually meant what you said,
that you cared,Im coming to terms that our hearts arent
gonna beat forever,and until they s.t.o.p,you can go
**** yourself.Im [sick] and tired of you taking advantage
of me all this time.
Whats the point in sleeping at night when you live
today in a dream?everything is just breaking under the
pressure of watching us fall [apart?],like the little
love notes and "forever i do's" that kept our ground
acid skies and cyanide rain are melting all that you said i meant to you,
but baby,I cant help but [know] all you ever wanted was
a girl to smile and tell you the [truth] sorry you wont ever get
that [with me.]
And im laying on my bathroom floor crying and s.h.a.k.i.n.g
because it really hurt this time,we'll fill in the gaps of the
problems you cant see [between us] with my vomit and tears,
and after it all your leaning against the door smoking a cigarette
and shaking your head [baby i know you toled me so] and after[three years?]
I have to say
[I dont blame you one bit]
Author notes
name:Scene-model
How in the world is this *working out*?
A contest entry
- Life Is Beautiful. [Eight Options.] by La Tua Cantante.
545 points, ended March 12, 2008, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Can I Be Your Shooting Star Disaster--x by Dead Star--x.
475 points, ended March 5, 2008, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
And im laying on my bathroom floor crying and s.h.a.k.i.n.g
because it really hurt this time,
I love that line its so real
i love the whole thing its very good
it's so real and flows very nicely =]
-
This was fucking amazing bby;
One of thee best poems that i have ever read, in fact.
Favorite line:
"And how much acetaminophen and naproxen do I
have to push past my swelled up gag reflux to
let you know that this isnt all okay,and that
maybe next time you want me to smile and [eat],
it would mean more if you actually meant what you said,
that you cared,Im coming to terms that our hearts arent
gonna beat forever,and until they s.t.o.p,you can go
**** yourself.Im [sick] and tired of you taking advantage
of me all this time."
Uhhh-maze-ing.
-
The line, "What's the point in sleeping at night when you live today in a dream?", is incredible. I know I told you to search out and find something else to write about. I mean seek some other avenue than your experiences. See someone or something that can get a hold of you. If you can communicate this well about reality or perceived reality, imagine what you could do with taking your being and gliding it into another world. It will be incredible I promise. Just look around you and lay hold of something that is so foreign to your world. Close your eyes and begin to feel what they feel. become someone else for a moment and touch, taste, and see them. Hear their life like a heartbeat in your chest. Let the words come as you become someone else. It's a rush!!! Try it and write. RC
-
And look where we are again,staring up at
thees shooting stars.And the beating feeling
under my ribs is making me s.w.e.a.t out all
of the [maybes] I made myself dare to wish
you might say to me,all while we can still
hear the pay by hour lovers in cars with
rusted sides and liars in the backseat.
[kind of like us?]
that first stanza is my favorite but i loved all of them
very fresh and orginal-it isnt cliche which is a nice change of pace♥
Dead Star--x
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