Dandelion dust and diamond sparkled flakes,
Seaside waving wilting stems falling to the ground,
Frosty blankets cover,
warmth it trickles out,
melting breezes wither,
liquid rain without,
Seeds that blow on breezes, gusted by crying gales,
rolling in the seafoam, wicking in the moistened flails,
rhymes of rime and meter, endless empty shells,
poetic proseful gleeflings, empty sagging sails,
woe to fill the cloth, on a yardarm sitting still,
pressing on the rigging, of rotting cotton sails,
puffy motion dithers, ripping open tear,
breezes passing by a mast and stillness everywhere,
plucking thorns from folded books and passing tinker time,
silly frivolous name-ed words like fantasy and sad sublime,
words that fill the mind, wandering to visions dreams,
empty in the essence of the wilderness and streams,
silent air and still dead night, lonely starry air,
the joys in life are nothingness, with hands entwined when there,
in the midst of battle, piracy and warring blades,
tinkle tanks of metal clanks, to pass away our days,
all I ever wanted, was a sunset on a beach,
caressing fingertips in palms and twinkling sparkling glassy eyes of speech,
verbose redundant overtures, in filtered loving light,
shades and hues of earth tone greys to touch my feet at night,
warm soft rain that steams in scents, that shallow breaths can take,
caressing soft and tender cheeks, of babes in breathing sighing wakes,
where does a poem that has no heart or vision end its course,
is it like the seaside flowers, who’s seeds lose to natures force,
drifting glitter crystals; frost, floating above the ocean deep,
falling in the dearth of tears to settle into an endless sleep......
Author notes
well I tryed not to write something sad or melancholy, the air was just so empty in my head and this is all I could spill out, as always critiques are welcome....
I have to thank Silica for the fabulous word only "He" would know off the top of his head, amazing, a perfect fit like you said 
Written November 29th, 2003
What did you think
Comments
1 - 27 of 27
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Why hasn't this beautiful poem been applauded more. Oh, because it's an old one. well, that's no excuse - I can see you still log on regularly(ish) although there haven't been many new poems of late - well, that's gonna have to change mister! You have simply got too much talent to let it go unpromoted.!
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this is "perfect" meter to me, I do agree with the sails redundancy, but as I read it it was very transparent and the scheme was kept in place, I like this sort of time because it is not simple 2 by 2, its a change up time that starts with a pause, goes 2 by 2 into 4 by 4 and well, I may have the numbers wacked but the changeup time about that meter is perfect to me, a lot more original than the standard 2 by 2 ryhme, I may have that all mixed up and it may actually be all those number/2 I am not a musician and don't know the actual meter count it just sounds good the way I read it in time myself. on a side note, criticism is oft more welcome with a solution, or at least an alternative, and that seems a rare thing from even the best critics
not that I imagine you want to be welcome here, but that goes for posting in bulletins in normal conversation or what have you. -
Dont quit your day job!
a poor attempt at detailed description. repeated words all through it make it a chore to read, not to mention the mistakes in rhythm
nice. you use sails as a rhyme for sails. love the originality there...
'caressing fingertips in palms and twinkling sparkling glassy eyes of speech,' perhaps you need to look up the definition of 'meter' too. it rhymes with 'meter'.
not as bad as your crow poem... lol. I wish I could have that poem for an example of what NEVER to do -
As silica suggests, it does seem a hodge-podge of different ideas, but aptly held together with some truly inspired word weaving. The rhyme is excellent (end and internal) - even the slant rhymes work well. I really enjoyed the alliteration in this piece, especially in such striking phases as "rotting cotton sails".
-Nando- -
now that my friend, was simply amazing that you could find my one spelling error that I didn't note, and make it into such a perfect fitting word, I normally would have either left it, or just put my intended word, but you picked such a damn perfect word that killed that redundant cliche verse and made it speak verses, thanks a million, that has to be one of the most constructive comments I have ever received, and I mean that,you will be my first applause on a comment my friend
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Great photograph! The poem seemed a mad helter-skelter dash of words – one of which needs an ‘i’ put in and an ‘h’ taken out… But for dramatic effect the actual word will not be revealed… Not as enthusiastic as whims but will probably come back and read again as I find this type sometimes need a few reads.
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I love the vocabulary in this piece and the images you've inserted in the reader's mind. The thing about this poem is that it's hard to read with the color and background, but the background is so pretty
...anyway keep writing...this was a beautiful, interesting read
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It is a very beautiful poem and both pictures are lovely, I did find it hard to read but highlighting fixed that up.
Some breathtaking imagery you have created here. Well Done
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frozen thoughts on eastern winds
bring back the life to me again,
if only in the rhyme of poetry...
Tamara -
Wonderful word usage. Youre very good with imagery. Beautiful.
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These words of yours.......
" all I ever wanted, was a sunset on a beach,
caressing fingertips in palms and twinkling sparkling glassy eyes of speech,
verbose redundant overtures, in filtered loving light,
shades and hues of earth tone greys to touch my feet at night,
warm soft rain that steams in scents, that shallow breaths can take,
caressing soft and tender cheeks, of babes in breathing sighing wakes,
where does a poem that has no heart or vision end its course,
is it like the seaside flowers, who’s seeds lose to natures force,
drifting glitter crystals; frost, floating above the ocean deep,
falling in the dearth of tears to settle into an endless sleep......"
The longing felt here, for the love, the touch of another. It's almost overwhelming, the lonliness here.
Very beautiful sweet Joe. ~Laura
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I must say that I do not fully understand this entire piece in its whole entirety of the complete poem (hehe, redundance) but I did enjoy it very very much. It flowed ever so naturally and clicked with every single alliteration you slipped in there.
lalallalalala, your poetry makes me want to sing!
Good day
Juli -
where does a poem that has no heart or vision end its course,
is it like the seaside flowers, who’s seeds lose to natures force,
Without that force of vision, that poem would not be wrote,
though heart may enter into it for nothing is but rote,
when written on the whims of mind in air that is but still,
there always is a piece of us in everything we quill.....
And where it ends or where it starts, perhaps not ours to ask,
for what the question begs of us is what shall be its task,
will anything that finds its way to word through thought unsaid,
be something more than empty thoughts we spilled from silent head...
Beautiful ...as always....
~~whims -
"all I ever wanted, was a sunset on a beach,"
omg *tear* -
Dandelion dust and diamond sparkled flakes <~ That is my favorite line and it was the very first one!!
It is quite amazing how you entwined sadness, love, hope and hopelessness all into one poem~~ all woven so pretty like that. Anyone who reads anything you write can tell that you are a true nature lover and the rarest of dreamers
As usual, you make this hard to read with your background but since it is all so pretty, you get people to try harder
This was incredibly beautiful Joe~~ like a stream of consciouness this was~~ all of this just spilling out. You should really write more you know
Beautiful as always
~~Dawn
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ah...I finally came back to see what you changed. yes...I think I like it better now.
I think I did notice you use the word Sea in both lines, and this flows better.
Hugs sweetie..
mary ann
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the seeds of time blowing within the wind crossing over the mountains of blue, the greys of the sky and then finally falling
into the ocean of blue.
I do believe your photography skills are enhanced by this
written piece
and as always it ties together the meanings of a great
spiritual wisdom you share in grace.
thank you my friend for your endeavor
Tamara -
A great poem what I am able to read of it... the text is difficult to read against the background...you have here a beautiful description of nature, and its a "living" writing..Seeds that blow on breezes, gusted by crying gales,
rolling in the seafoam, wicking in the moistened flails,
rhymes of rhme and meter, endless empty shells,
poetic proseful gleeflings, empty sagging sails, brilliant, I wonder if a white text would make it any easier to read........ please dont think I am having a grumble...... I would really love to be able to read ALL of this writing......... ~~wishintreeUK~~
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Joey,
I have missed you, this was simply beautiful, and such imagery, made me close my eyes and sigh..... and 
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Joey
Oh my, sweetie, you always manage to pull at my heart strings
This was so tenderly written fron your sweet heart, with the most incredible images floated before my eyes
's
Karen
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to you and this write took me to many different places~To many to count but I will start with one~ The picture~imagery was refreshing~ How I interpreted in my frame of reference was the dandelion seeds get blown by the power of the wind and cast into the skies~ Across the mountains and hillsides~To the cliffs and onto the seas and some carried across and landing~Starting the cycle all over again~ I could actually envision the water~
Sometimes there are feelings or emotions that are blown and taken someplace and can be tricky to get a grasp on it~ That happens more to me then I could ever hope but it does and I have to try and refocus~ Some days it is a good thing to just release and get that weight off the chest~ Does not mean I will follow through on my thoughts but just to get it out~Awesome poem Joey
Love all your work my dear and so look forward to more~Keep them coming~ Big hugs and much love~Desire
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Oh' Jo Jo this seems like such a sad write from the heart
like the wishes have all been packed up in boxes and are now gathering dust... but their memories still hold that glimmer and sparkle that once was...hoping that the hand of hope with reach out someday to hold yours...
Think i like this part the most
all I ever wanted, was a sunset on a beach,
caressing fingertips in palms and twinkling sparkling glassy eyes of speech,
verbose redundant overtures, in filtered loving light,
shades and hues of earth tone greys to touch my feet at night,
Your Always have that Special way of pulling at the heart strings of Love Hon* So Sad but ever so beautiful at the same time
Yes, You are truly gifted Joe.. to entangle such beauty from the sweetest of sorrow.. Such Lovely poetry Sweet Pea'
"Much Love Sweetest One Always" ~~Mina XoX
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Oh Joey...I am so very glad to see another write from you! You have such amazing etheral beauty to your words! You competely entrance me. Your words have such flow and sensuality to them as to make that want of your poem to not end.
Many parts of this were perfect...but I suppose if I was to point fingers...LOL I would find this my favorite part...
"where does a poem that has no heart or vision end its course,
is it like the seaside flowers, who’s seeds lose to natures force,
drifting glitter crystals; frost, floating above the sea,
falling in the dearth of tears to settle in the sea……"
The color you posted in makes the ability to clearly view your poem. And for those who don't know...If you place your cursor on the beginning of the poem ...and then click and drag its length...the poem will be highlighted and clearly visible. Just a tip...LOl for those who crave a read..and find it difficult.
Hugs my friend... very very lovely piece.
Mary ann
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Beautifully Penned
-Joey-
Seeds that fall by the sea side blue,
Grow as the wetness flows straight through,
I love the picture and your poetry too,
I thank you for this piece anew.
Waves fulfill the emptiness in me,
Crashing back and forth at sea,
You paint another masterpiece so lovely,
I thank you for sharing thee...
Great Work! Joe, you really are gifted, and that's no joke! ~Smiles!
I always enjoy when you grace us with another piece of thee!
Thanks Brother Joey!
-Bro Timothy -
Without your picture, your poem would seem a bit chaotic, but when I absorb the image I see the blending and parallel of the two. Your words seem to be a pouring out of emotions like the water pounding the beach ending somewhere in the vast, larger body of water. This, to me is the beauty of a printed thought... it starts inside of yourself, drips down upon the page, flows gently into all that read it, living on and spreading. Your photographs are always so inspiring. Thank you for sharing this one
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kuranui: just highlight the damn thing....
Joey baby: Melancholy, beautiful, and as always the pictures leave
me breathless. I spend some minutes looking at the background
before I even read anything. Your pictures always seem to speak
to me...
I love the soothing rhythm you incorporated into this piece. Your
work is always so.... so.... POETIC!
Jen
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Sadly I cannot read most of this poem as it is obscured by the graphics.That is a shame because the parts that I can read lead to to think that it is a lovely poem.Is it possible to edit the background?I would love to be able to read the whole poem.
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