We've spent too much time-
trying to slow time-
to speed it all up now.
And for once the solution
-isn't [give me] more.
You know we've tried but,
we just can't go to the clouds
without a parachute.
And we just weren't meant
to get as high
as the stars.
This is a lesson that takes
shattered bones
and more than once to learn.
Winter is crawling through you
and I just can't love the
snow
as much as yesterday.
Darling we were afraid to say the words
because that would make them true.
Its got a hold of me.
It's inside you.
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Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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I agree with the comment below me that that line is great. Very nice poem.
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The line "and we just weren't meant to get as high as the stars" made this write to me. I thought this was a great one.
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This poem was a pleasure to read, you chose the perfect way to end it.
Nela
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We've spent too much time-
trying to slow time-
to speed it all up now.
And for once the solution
-isn't [give me] more.
I really liked this stanza, and the last..the middle didnt do much for me. -
ooh parachute makes me remember my jump hehehe I like this write; I think maybe more could be added to it though but other than that the style and the rhythm were very good xx
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Good write
I particularly liked the last stanza. Some of the rest didn't really grab me, but don't take it to heart, just one guy's opinion. Keep up the good writing.
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love it! made me think of just... how limited we are on our own. that we need things, like parachutes, to do the things we wish we could! which brings to mind that we need love to feel how we wish we could thanks
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clouds to parachutes. with a breaking of the bone. but the winter crawling through gives me chills to such a deathly place of phases or faces.
beautiful. -
This was amazing. It made me think of like a love that can't be. :[
It was awesome. I loved it. Keep writing because your writing is AMAZING!
Mel
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That was beautiful... I can relate to this... Like you fall in love, only to discover that his heart is cold like winter... Very well said.
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This really didn't feel like it held any emotion to me... It just felt like it was there... but, not really emotionally. It was kind of bland... You didn't have consistent descriptions, you kinda skipped back and forth between descriptions and saying what your heart felt...
It really didn't... work for me.. Sorry
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interesting.
the words chosen here were pretty much lovely
and the second stanza is definitely my fave
also, the last two lines caught me and all =]
nicely penned, that's all i could say ^^
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yea i agree
the last two lines was like BOOOOOOM AWLSUME great meaning and its perfect cause im a min awsomor -
Last two lines were really powerful I thought, and summed up the poem perfectly
. I also like your title, reminds me of a line I heard in a song =D and I loved that line 
GREAT job
diggin it majorly
A++wesome
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Wow this is something different but I am glad I read this you really do tell a story in this write I actually read over this a view times and the more I read it dam the more truth the write began to tell me amazing work my friend.
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wow, what a voice you have. In that voice I can hear alot, you tell stories within your words, within each break, with a dualistic and almost irredescent nature. Yet by the end I know you've captured me because I become the words, no longer telling me of the story, yet that story is of a life where I am the mirror.
wonderful work,
from a real peice of work.
=P haha
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i freakin love this part,
Winter is crawling through you
and I just can't love the
snow
as much as yesterday.
Darling we were afraid to say the words
because that would make them true.
Its got a hold of me.
It's inside you.
the rest didint really move me,but i really love the end.
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