She is held captive in her own mind
Slowly but surely becoming blind
Not knowing how her life will end
Now more than ever she needs a friend
Ready to give up, tired of fighting
The only thing she can do is keep on writing
There’s only so much that a person can take
Eventually she is going to break
Tonight she walks home all alone
Arrives and sits down watching the phone
Continues to wait for someone to call
But falls asleep with nothing at all
Wakes up, someone is at her door
Inside she screams out for no more
Knows what’s happening, she cries, alert
Waits until she feels the hurt
After it’s over, she lies awake
Tries to sleep, her mind and body ache
She slowly tiptoes down the stairs
Hears more pain and screams of despair
As she grabs the knife from the kitchen
The phone starts ringing but she doesn’t listen
Too concentrated on leaving this place
Tears run down her broken face
The message machine begins to play
As she starts to fade away
He speaks of his devotion to her
But the voice is already becoming a blur
The message stops playing, but she’s already gone
A girl is now dead, as the night turns to dawn
Author notes
CONTEST: [[.COURTESY OF A RAVEN'S BLOOD.]]:
option#4: pain
thunder.xx.paradise
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CONTEST: A COLD NIGHT
option 2
In a list
A contest entry
- X.x.X-End-This-Life-X.x.X by XxX-Ivy-Love-XxX.
750 points, ended July 25, 2008, 26 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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I really like this poem and the way you have written it. The classic tale of love never told/heard. Thank you for entering and good luck
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Very good thank you for entering i liked the flow of this
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Good!
"Too concentrated on leaving this place
Tears run down her broken face"That is one of the most beautiful poetic lines I have ever read! The flow in this poem is amazing! Never stop writting! -
bear my children!
Amazing write. It had a perfect flow and the simplicity of the writing made the deepness i felt from it possible. Great story, great poem, great everything.
special love for:
"Tonight she walks home all alone
Arrives and sits down watching the phone
Continues to wait for someone to call
But falls asleep with nothing at all"
That hit home particularly hard.
Welcome to the finalists' list and thanks for entering!
Goodluck!
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the end is slightly cliche, but i love how you pinpointed and wrote about her feelings so strongly- i could feel it
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wow this is amazing. wow. u just might have this contest in the bag! nice work. i love it. so good luck!
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Thank you for entering my contest. This is a great poem and it reminds me of one of my first poems. Great write and good luck
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yea this is also one of my first poems.. i wrote it like 1.5 years ago or so when i first started writing.
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you are an amazing poet, very good write, good luck
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so very sad, well written
i think i just may cry here. you wrote of a person i know very well and it is so sad that she has to travel this road. i only hope that it ends better for her than for the one in this write from you. you wrote this well. thank you for sharing this with me today and i am looking forward to reading more from you in the near future. i wish you well in this conest that you have entered. viyanna rosemarie
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Oh.
This is insanely good. Depressing but great. Wow i need more poems like this one in my contest. Well thanks for entering this in. And i wish you the best of luck..
..<3..
Shelly -
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thankss
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again.
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o my this actually scared me a little. i loved it but at the same time it sent shivers down my spine.
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love it. so depressing. this is exactly the kind of poem im looking for. can i ask you 1 question though? what was going through your mind when you wrote this? just wondering.
thanx for entering my contest
*emaleyna*
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