A splash droppeth from lips
stained with innocence.
With thy love and sweetness
bring colour into lives.
Let thy rainbow infuse energy
into the world's spirit.
In thine heart, is innate
the touch to change lives.
May thouest be the rainbow
that reveals after storms.
May thou be the symbol
of God's promised hope.
Drawn from sky hungry blue
to knowest thine sadness.
Marmalade orange to spread
some needed caution.
Burning bright, flame red
to conquer thine anger.
Daff'dil yellow in sun
to challenge thine fears.
Emerald gilded green
to love nature of life.
Royalty, plum purple
to know greatest promise.
Author notes
I would like to be 'what you need' at any given time. Most of all, a friend. It takes courage to be vulnerable and to reach out. I respect that. I would like there to be two less lonely people in this world
A contest entry
- PICTURE PROMPT!! by RainbowGirl257.
500 points, ended March 8, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Almost anything you want by Silent But Deadly.
300 points, ended March 25, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - WANNA BE MY AP LOVER!!!?? by Angelflower.
1200 points, ended April 5, 2008, 9 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Cheer Up My Daughter. by Poetryintheblood.
450 points, ended May 28, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Criticize freely, I need input to improve
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Thank you for your entry, good luck in our contest, Josie & Kiarna
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This was really good.The image that your created with your words was very interesring.. I really liked this.. It was sweet and romantic..Great write and Good luck.
Peace to you, Jetleena
Oh and what would you like to be you forgot to put that in your Authors Notes.. -
Indeed, I shall critique...but only with the kindest of intentions my friend. This line here:
"that reveals after storm." >> I would suggest you change to "storms" or "the storm"
Also for the colours, it would pose a much stronger effect if you used more descriptive adjectives. Ex:
"Autumn tangerine" or "sun kissed marigold" or something to that effect.
Otherwise, this was a very pleasant read and I thoroughly enjoyed it.
Keep penning, and thank you for sharing the gift of your heart to us all....
~The INC."
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nice, i like how you used color to represent feeling
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loved the rainbow. Ill never look at another rainbow the same again because you have explained it so deeply. Beautiful piece i loved it.
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OH SO DIFFERNTAND FREASH - I LOVED IT ALOT- KEEP THE THUOGHTS FLOWING
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Lovely creation here
rainbows are beautiful as you have penned in your work. Great choice in sharing.
E -
Very nice. I never thought of the rainbow as seperate colors before. I don't think I'll look at one the same way ever again.(Guess I should check out the contest this is in so I can read some more on rainbows.
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This is redone
I hope it is what you wanted. -
This is just beautiful,
I don't know why but after reading this it left me feeling tingly all over, this read beautifully, I shall never look at a rainbow the same again, without thinking of this.
Take care & have a good day.
The best of luck with the contest
~sugar~
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i also love the last stanza. you used thy in the first line, which kind of gave me the impression that it was going to be kind of Shakespearian, although you didn't carry on with it. your poem is great as it is, but it would be great if rewrote it to use Shakespearian language. I also like how you have repeated rainbow in some of the first lines.
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Killer!
I dig it. Sorta reminds me of one i wrote recently entitled "illumination". The last paragraph with the colors is awesome!
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