With every sip...
Corroding,
brain cells,
like slugs under salt.
Liver overflowing.
A festering vault
set to explode open,
without chance of repair.
It's not that nobody cares,
the help is there.
He's thirty two,
and living to die.
In a list
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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Wow
And how well I understand this for I have witnessed the very best of friends die this way. excellent write poet. -
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thank you
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wow
That's so beautiful. I love the rhyme scheme you used! The whole poem captured the point you were trying to make. -
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thank you
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You know
I myself, a confirmed boozer, has to admit trhat at times my drinking has caused me to wish that I died. Perhaps the solution for some is never to adddress the sad situation and pretend it is not them. Great piece of writing young poet.
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thank you
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The last two lines really hit home for me. I'm clean now but thinking back to before rehab...-shudders- Well written.
Warmest,
Mylee
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thank you
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Very sad imagery in this poem...
...It sounds like sadness for an alcoholic who dies with 'every sip.' Maybe smoking is like that too! There is a finality about your poem whihc creates a sense of dread and it makes me feel sadness. 'living to die' is a terrible way to go and makes a mockery of a life.
In the poem you have succinctly described the inevitabilty of the disease and done so very vividly. Great poem.
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thank you
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Interesting Perspective
As a writer who has penned many a poem from within a bottle, I found this perspective interesting. Thank you for sharing. -
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thank you, and me
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Explicit imagery, my friend. I may have an idea what this may be about, but I wouldn't dare question a writer and their intentions.
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THANK YOU, WELL THIS IS ABOUT I GUY I KNOW, WHO IS 33 AND DRINKS LIKE A FISH, AND WILL NEVER STOP
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Well, lets face it. If you drink like a fish...IT'S GONNA HAPPEN. Hahaha. I always find myself intrigued by the amounts of art that can stem from a bottle of spirits....oh, my. I believe I've begun the writing process yet again, for the third time today. Haha!
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wow so powerful heartfelt and painful your words just make a heart get pierced with tiny needles and creates goosebumps i feltt it deep in me as i read this piece
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thank you glad you liked this
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