I shout
from paper roofs
what my hands think I am –
but your hands read my strophes, find more
than ink
Author notes
Greek strophē = a turning or twist, a stanza containing irregular lines
In a list
- my cinquains • next in list
- Truly Amazing Poetry by My AP Favorites • next in list
- My Favorite AP Poets • next in list
A contest entry
- Let Rain the Cinquains! by x Simply x Me x.
900 points, ended March 9, 2008, 12 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 41 of 41
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Nicolette,
This passes through the soul
and leaves a memorable awakening.
Beautiful poem.
Thank you for sharing this.
Take care
Love Peace
campanaro
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really good cinquain well done on the trophy
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Amazing, tender power
At first, it was a bit tricky to get your meaning here, but sometimes I've read some of your poetry and I knew it had to be lovely and didn't want to get out, rather stay in and think. So, kept trying, and it came to me right away when I started talking about it! Now, I expressively direct myself by "paper roofs" because that doesn't last, and is unprotected once you leave the careful precision of holding the sheet in place with a pen. Or, the wrong emotions that don't bond quite right, to not speak about again.
Actually, it makes it for an interesting contrast repeating "hand," changing into beauty frequently used and tactile. LOL, I thought of like when poetry exceeds meaning past few words [which yours does too], love has it's own sincerity.
Maybe I'll start looking more into you, congratulations on a silver way ahead of me!
PIA-K -
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Thanks once again for such a lovely comment, PIA-K (btw, interesting author's name that). This poem is in the cinquain form, actually the only short poetry form I really enjoy (you can look on my page for the column I've written about cinquains - you might just get hooked on it too)
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This is sensual to the max in a loving and beautiful way. Excellent write dear!
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What a wonderful cinquain you have penned here - just flows, filled with wonderful images, lovely metaphors. Great form you wrote - loved reading this. Sounds wonderful out loud too. Congratulations on the silver.
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Amazing
I gave up cinquain
because I couldn't do it like this. Ephemoral and tactile at the same time. I dance in the paper house as well,and as my fingers turn your pages, you only bloom fully
between the lines.
Gorgeous
Sublime
Trancendant
Too many adjectives?
Well, that's me.
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this just seems to sparkle of its own accord.
it like , it's beautiful.
<33 -
so very lovely
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spanking.... hehehe
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What have I been missing here? Is love in the air. Spanking new fresh love. I hope you are well and I wish you everything.This was beautiful. I followed the heart trail and the two of you have created gorgeous love on paper.Lovely - made me smile and blush.
~Helen
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Simply wowed me.
Joe
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Excellent as always
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So beautiful these words are. They lay lazy and wishful on the eyes and heart. They force a sigh, a gentle breath. Yes, love is a wondrous thing in all its strophes and beyond ink.
Blessed be,
Billie Jean
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it has always been strophe not stanza
stanza is for proze
two eyes can see the need
for the third
more than a fearful need for symmetry
and it's much more than more than ink and bricks
even when less
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Beyond ink...love is always much more This is so soft and nice dear Nicolette. And deep. Yes, this is the right words. Feelings deeper than the skies ink bottle ...
~Sonja~
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beautifully done, as always.
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This is soft and lovely. It shows the gentleness of a heart. Romantic and to the point...
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This is so, hm, how to say...bottling, feels like keeping in a bottle to read every time we pass by that shelf
Lovely cinquain, great how you managed the lines using short syllables sounding words, yet stretching the lines.
You are so romantic...
Mari
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Hi Nicolette, the last stanza really brings this together. You have a way of juxtaposing lines that create a sudden shock for the reader. Maybe shock it too hard a word and I'm hurrying. This is a skill to be cherished. Well done.
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The sensitivity shown in these lines are astounding, with it being almost rhythmical in that second verse.
very wonderful Nic.
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I like this piece, although it seems a little bit like an excuse to use the word "strophe". I love the imagery of "I shout from paper roofs". Vivid and succint at the same time.
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Much more than ink. Reading these poems in tandem is nice, it's like I am privvy to some quiet conversation filled with sweet somethings and hope for the future.
You two are beautiful, and so is this little poem with a big heart.
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Beautiful...
...Your Sharin' and Carin'
~ Nicky♥
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There's always been so much more to your work, than ink.
This is no exception. I loved this.
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OMG.
I need to find a guy who'll write poems to me or I'll die. You and your Guy are even more romantic and love each other than Romeo and Juliet~ Beautiful, Nikkie. You're the best. I mean you two
- namita
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Ooh your muse has brought a wonderful cinquain to the world again
how long it's been I've written one of these...
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The day I receive comments as you have, I'll know that I have arrived!! My interpretation is experiencing the contrast between uncertainty and certainty; loudness and unheard thought of searching for knowingness, and insecurity and finding awe of recognition; need and on-going experience. I do not know if you understand what I am trying to say, as my attempts fail me misserably! Good luck. Frans
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I may never be able to read your poetry without becoming misty eyed at it's depth, thank the Lord for Max Factor no.5 waterproof mascara!
The poetess says she tries to paint but there is no ceiling on her love and that is seen by her love, more than ink indeed, the fleshed tones speak for themselves, I can not profess to be knowledgable of Cinquains per se but of being touched, of understanding beyond ink, yes I feel! Beautiful, beautiful poetry that would incite a statue to come to life in the hopes of being able to experience love like this.
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Ahhh, Woman. You are so much more than ink, blood, flesh, marrow, dreams, desires, wishes, hopes, memories of the past & yearnings for the future. You are an origami breeze, scented with lilacs & lilies...a landscape waiting for sun & rain to fall so you might bloom brighter than the rainbow...you are the moon, embracing starlight. You are everything with possibility, everything with certainty. You are Beauty, patiently anticipating a definition you can infinitely believe in. Love you, my Sister. Your cinquains are symphonies. Vlindertjie
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Ink fades, but the heart that was attached to the pen where the ink was never does......you have always been so much more than ink sweety and have deserved so much more than ink in return. I'm so happy you're happy I just love this and I love you too. This is gorgeous Nic. Well done my vriendin.
~Lyrical
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of course it is more than the ink penned or the words seen, it all that and more
write it Nicci and we shall all read and admire
most beautimous
Gilly.
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I love the way you write and the thought that goes into each construction... Very beautiful indeed! Good luck in the contest!
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nothing like the poetry that oozes from the skin... and from your hands always oozes beauty and poetry.
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Oh Nic, this is short but so powerful. I love a good love story told through such beautiful poetry. You make me want to write and, more importantly, you make me believe that love can create such masterpieces
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this is sooo beautiful, Nic..
*sighs* I love your cinquains...
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Oh....., dit is genieten. Such easy flowing lines with so much daysies and so much butterflies in the stomach. And, and, and..... I thinkeveryone would like to be the subject of these words, lines, strophes.
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Speechless......again.
Exquisite, to say the very least.
All my words are lost when confronted
with such beauty, dear one.
Once again, I am in total awe. BRAVA!!!
Much love, hugs
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very unique and well written! wonderful job! Thank you for entering =]
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