My body shivers, cradled within a quilt for warmth, seeking refuge in an empty bed, as tear-stained pillows become my only comfort when the snow falls with a whisper of chaotic silence that numbs the pain where brandy falls short. Sleep is over rated when my mind is tangled in a web of thoughts I can't escape. I think about the then, the now and wonder, will there ever be a tomorrow in relation to them both? Or have they canceled one another out leaving the possibility of tomorrow to be nil? I scramble for answers but only succeed in finding more questions. Somewhere the answer must exist and so I dig deeper within myself. Step after step, I stumble, fighting the barricades along this rocky path.
Ears hear the muffled echo of the clock ticking time away and still I lay here with no company except my thoughts. Dreams, oh how they would be my savor rescuing me from what seems like an endless whirlwind that has me trapped within it's eye. Watching me, it spins faster, with each time I struggle and reach to pull myself free. The truth lays before me, I can see it, I can even end it... I have the means and still my legs are cemented. Right or wrong, a decision needs to be made. Paralyzed by obligations, both dutiful and moral, I'm plagued in a game of chance. Dare I step and steal the queen leaving my king at risk? Or do I forfeit my knight and guard still and steady what it is that binds me? A game of chance or so it seems, and one I care not to play, yet my hand is forced and here I lay, debating upon a game plan that best suits the situation, but is there really such a thing?
Bloody fists pound invisible walls in an attempt to break free and I can't help but wonder if anyone can hear the screams that bellow from my heart and soul in anguish. What would they say if they knew? What would they do if they saw? Does anyone hold the answer? But I can't ask that as my tongue has been clipped and my lips sewn shut to hold the silence of the truth. Random questions of senselessness seem to the clutter the brainwaves and answer are some how lost in the rubix of a mental crossword puzzle. Up, down, left to right, no matter how you view it, just four letters are left to haunt when the light of the moon morphs to dawn's rise leaving me to sigh, between tears, over things dangled just beyond my grasp.
Gold trophy winner
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